My Favorite Transfer Rumor Yet: AC Milan Interested In Peter Crouch?

I'M PETER CROUCH LOOK AT MY FACE DURRRRR

We've heard some doozies over the summer, but I think this is my favorite so far. According to Italian football blog Forza Italian Football, citing talkSPORT, AC Milan are interested in Tottenham Hotspur's robot beanpole Peter Crouch. I tried to find the original talkSPORT report for you, but I can't. Reasons I couldn't find the report, in order of likelihood: I'm stupid, it was on the radio and not on their website, Forza Italian Football screwed up.

Let's forget for a second that AC Milan don't have that much money. And that Peter Crouch, while effective, is a fairly average player. Why the hell would AC Milan want him, and how does he fit in their roster. While all of these players fill different roles and are in different stages of their careers, I'm not sure how Crouch even cracks the 18 of a team that has Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Robinho, Pato, Filippo Inzaghi, Antonio Cassano, and king of the douches Stephan El Shaarawy*.

*I don't actually know of any douchy behavior by El Shaarawy, but just look at that guy!

But, just for funsies, let's say that AC Milan offer us £15 million. Do you sell Crouchaldinho? He is 30 years old, and we could use that money towards a striker who is a better fit for our current system. And honestly, if Crouch is going to leave the EPL, I think that Calcio might actually suit him.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Cartilage Free Captain

You must be a member of Cartilage Free Captain to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Cartilage Free Captain. You should read them.

Join Cartilage Free Captain

You must be a member of Cartilage Free Captain to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Cartilage Free Captain. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9353_tracker