Okay, I'm now officially resigned to losing Luka. If not now, in January. So let's have some Mad Libs fun in trying to find his successor!
Spurs to Replace Modric with [Player 1]?
Tottenham, on the verge of losing want-away playmaker Luka Modric, has turned its eyes towards [Player 1]. [Player 1 Last Name], currently plying his trade for [Team], is a(n) [adjective], [adjective] [position] who could help alleviate the [noun] that Modric would leave behind.
[Player 1], though [adjective], has expressed [feeling] at joining Spurs/denied any interest in leaving [Team] [circle one]. "[Expletive-laden bullshit, must use word "t'riffic""], said manager Harry Redknapp. "But I'm sure Daniel's working on it. "[Nonsensical phrase]."