Nothing's Happening...It's Over...A Lot Of People In The Audience Look Pissed

WHY AREN'T THERE ANY NEW RUMORS? WHY ISN'T JIM WHITE YELLING AT ME THROUGH THE TELEVISION YET?

I am going through withdrawls. Where are you, twitter? Where are you, Daily Fail? Where are you, S*n? Where is Jermain Defoe's helicopter? Why isn't Milos Krasic on a train? Why hasn't Hugo Rodellega been mysteriously left off of Wigan's team sheet? WHERE THE HELL IS ANDY CARROLL?

This could be the calm before the storm, but it feels like we're in the middle of the most boring transfer deadline day in the history of transfer deadline days. The fact that the rags can't even be arsed to make up anything is really, really telling. It's almost 5 pm in the UK, stuff should be going nuts. Aren't these guys trying to frantically work out deals before today's games? Come on!

I want to irrationally freak out about something. Don't let me down, internet. You're doing me dirty so far today.

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