Tuesday Morning Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For October 9, 2012

Shaun Botterill - Getty Images

Bryan Ashlock hates you guys

Hello again, Spursland. It is me, back again, and I am so very, very sorry that I left you with the bad man. As Mr. Ashlock pointed out yesterday, I am a teacher. I could describe him as one of my problem students, because he never seemed to learn that great lesson that no matter what is written in the law books, democracy is always the form governing society. No matter what a dictator or president (or even Ayatollah) says, if the people rise up and say as one "NO! you will not!" then that dictator is powerless. A perfect example of this happened yesterday when the Commentariat rose up and in one voice (with the exception of Brixton, who will be dealt with in due time) and said that Bryan Ashlock smells of farts, is of a generally low moral fiber and his dog eats his own poop. Bravo to you, Commentariat. Bravo.

And now the "news"

Lloris Urges AVB For More Playing Time- Telegraph

This soap opera clearly will not end until Susan Lucci wins an Emmy.

AVB's No Favor Policy Wins Plaudits At Tottenham- The Guardian

This policy winning praise at spurs is just another coating of snow on top of "John Terry and Frank Lampard are assholes" Mountain.

The Life And Dives Of Gareth Frank Bale- Dear Mr Levy

Just in case you missed the live show you can now join in with everyone else in knowing that Bale's performance was on par with Troll 2.

Ashley Cole Refers To The FA As Lady Parts- SB Nation Soccer

That is not how to get girls to like you, sir. What you need to do is post a picture of yourself that looks like this on the internet.

Dan Levene Points Out Ten Mistakes In The FA Panel's Ruling On John Terry- We Ain't Got No History

What the what? This could not be more screwed up if I was in charge of it. #rimshot

Duke Is 5-1- EDSBS

Meanwhile, Mizzu is 0-3 in the SEC, which I know is the SEC, but when one of your only wins is against Southeastern Louisiana you kind of know you suck. That isn't even Michigan Directional bad.

Mayhem Miller Gets Weird, Storms Off The Set Of The MMA Hour- Bloody Elbow

I know it is shocking that this guy is either a douche bag or insane, but I am betting on insane. I hear Ashlock texts him for tips on his midterms, though, so he can't be all bad.

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