Tuesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For November 20, 2012

He's like sex panther. - Clive Rose

Alex Ferguson in funny photoshops, college football no longer makes sense, and Andre Villas-Boas is in control 60% of the time, all the time.

Happy Tuesday, Spursland! Thanksgiving is now right around the corner. It's about that time now where you realize if you don't go to stock up on liquor and beer now then you're out of luck until Saturday. God knows you don't want to deal with your family without some liquid courage, so get on that. In other news, Roosevelts sends his love. Last I heard, he and the woman he ran off with went and got married, but it appears that their marriage fell apart after a few years, and as I expected she ran off without him. As a consolation for Roosevelts though, she left behind their eight-year-old son Billy for Roosevelts to raise. I'm sure he'll manage to raise the kid just fine, and she won't come back after several months and demand custody back after abandoning them...

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And now for your Tottenham News and Links...

Five Things We Learned From Arsenal-Tottenham

Yes, there is no end to the lengths to which Sol Campbell hate can reach.

Bale Confident in Spurs After Derby Loss

Oh, don't mind me, I'm just going to keep carving Gareth Bale + Tottenham 4Eva into my arm until I run out of room.

Gazza Not Attending Tottenham-Lazio Fixture

In tangential news related to Spurs that mean nothing except highlighting that motivational talks in Southampton are more important to him than a match between his two former clubs.

Villas-Boas Claims Tottenham Controlled Arsenal Match From Start to Finish

I mean, I guess in a philosophical sense you could say Adebayor controlled his decision to make a boneheaded challenge and that we willingly put ourselves at 10 men, thus controlling the match and letting Arsenal destroy us. In other news, the Telegraph is a really, really horrible place for substantive news.

To Reiterate, Leandro Will NOT Be Coming in January

You know, just in case you wanted to stop practicing your voodoo and hoping it would happen.

From around the world of football...

Has Alex Ferguson Made a Mistake Not Investing in the Midfield?

So you're saying the Bengay All-Star's are not a long term plan?

Manchester United Avoid Galatasaray Welcoming Committee

Awwww, look at the cute little Turkish fans with their flares and their chanting. They're so adorable and- OH, OH MY GOD ONE OF THEM JUST RIPPED WAYNE ROONEY'S ARM RIGHT OFF!

The Alex Ferguson Statue Gallery

Seriously, amazingly funny, you guys. Also, I am now learning that British papers are ALL MANCHESTER UNITED, ALL THE TIME!

Snoop Lion Investing in Celtic

Rolling down the street, smoking endo, sipping on misery and boredom.

James Ward-Prowse Signs 5 Year Contract

This is the official opening of the Ward-Prowse bidding wars.

From Around SB Nation...

Party Beverages of the B1G

BOWLO: What to do With Andrew Bynum

Well the first thing to do is get him to a barber, as soon as possible. After that, I have no idea.

Stop Making Rivalries, NFL

Yes, because a rivalry can only happen after at least 50 years of hatred. Even then, if someone has never been murdered at a game then it's not a real rivalry.

In Defense of American Soccer Culture

Thank god, a good rebuke to that steaming pile John Carlin laid out the other day.

Football Gambling Goes Big

The little fact that made the NFL so popular, yet one the NFL will not admit was a factor in it's meteoric rise.

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