Happy Wednesday Spursland! On this date in history, the American Prohibition Party held its first convention in Columbus, Ohio so you know think about that while you nurse that hangover at work today. Also, eat some spinach. Trust me.
And now the "news"
So Gareth Bale is staying this summer and Robin Van Persie will probably be going somewhere else.
This is your daily installment of a rumor linking Luka to a big money move away from Spurs. Expect this sort of thing to continue to appear from now until he dies.
You may not like wrestling, but this is a man who talks people into paying to see him for a living telling an asshole like it is.
What's Happening around SB Nation after the jump
This physio staff treats muscle pulls by rubbing this stuff on it.
Andi Thomas somehow links together Keane's comments with Sir Aurthur Conan Doyle and the Victorian obsession with not masturbating into a coherent breakdown of one brief comment about players wearing gloves.
It is awesome although maybe, just maybe, reading too much into what the guy was saying. I mean, I highly doubt that anyone who doesn't work in the fashion industry or lives in Park Slope gives a rat's ass about gloves and Roy Keane defiantly does not fit in with either of those crowds. Yeah, I took a shot a trendy Brooklyn. Come at me, hipsters.
Our very own Ryan Rosenblatt took a bunch of drugs and then wrote a fictional look into Jose Mourinho's future. It is completely impossible.