Thursday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For March 1, 2012

Oh captain my captain

Happy Thursday Spursland! The USMNT beat Italy last night so we must be big time in the football world, finally! The English national team lost another meaningless game against the Netherlands, THE SKY IS FALLING! I hate meaningless international fixtures more than anything. I hate them more than dead puppies, more than accidentally drinking spoiled milk and more than George Lucas. Boy, that last one was original, wasn't it?

And now the "news"

RAF Group Captain Scott Parker's Mission Report- SB Nation Soccer

This is the greatest thing I have ever seen. There is no word on whether Group Captain Scott Parker will dine at the officers club tonight with Group Captain Lionel Mandrake.

MK Dons Want Bentley Loan- Sky Sports

I'd really like to know why.

The Special One Was In London And Every Newspaper Except Apparently The Guardian Freaked Out- The Guardian

While the Guardian does it's fare share of patting itself on the back for not trying to inject extra drama in what is really just a rich guy acting like a rich guy on his day off, it does reveal some new information. Jose was in town to house hunt, in London, for next season. THIS MUST MEAN THE LEVY HAS STRUCK A SECRET DEAL WITH HIM!!!! HARRY, PACK UP YOU STUFF AND GET THE HELL OUT!!!! Feel free to "front-office-bate" in the comments.

Whats happening around SB Nation after the jump

VIDEO: Dempsey's Goal Against Second Rate Italy- SB Nation Soccer

Don't get me wrong. I am very happy that the USMNT beat Italy yesterday, but as the Big Boss Man pointed out on twitter, Italy started a center back that plays in Serie B. Excuse me if I don't do a back flip celebrating.

Walter Mazzari Builds A Better Mouse Trap At Napoli- SB Nation Soccer

A great look at the magic being worked at Napoli right now. Napoli, for those that don't know, are the shit. I love them and that is coming from a guy who is unapologetic about his view that 99% of Italian soccer could tie a cinder block to it's feet and jump in the marianas trench and I wouldn't bat an eye. You want to know how awesome this team is in every possible way? I give you example number 1 and example number 2. Now hop in the funvee with me and the rest of the world. Napoli yes, Italian football no.

Gary Cahill Decides he Is A Striker, Scores- We Ain't Got No History

Doing his best Christopher Samba impression, except he messed it up by scoring.

PHOTO; USMNT Unveils New Jersey- SB Nation Soccer

The god awful sash thing has remained.

VIDEO: Raw Footage From WWE Legends House Leaks, Is Amazing- Cageside Seats

Not football related, but its just too awesome not post. A little background info to start: In six months to a year, WWE is launching its own cable network. One of the shows it is producing to fill all the hours in the day is a program called WWE Legends House. It is essentially Keeping Up With The Kardiashians, but with retired wrestlers instead of vapid plastic faced fembots who have never brought a single moment of joy to anyone except Ray-J.

The clip that leaked features the wrestlers in what appears to be a Zumba class. The cast Includes The Mouth Of The South Jimmy Heart, former Royal Rumble winner Hacksaw Jim Duggin (HOOOOOOOOOOOO), old school wrestling legend and WWE creative team member Pat Patterson, Hillbilly Jim, former WWE announcer Howard "the Fink" Finkle and Tony Atlas. I know most of you don't watch pro wrestling anymore and why would you it's clearly awful (NOT!). But since it is almost universally dudes on this site I figure that it would be impossible for there not to be some interest in seeing Hacksaw Jim Duggin Latin dancing.

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