Thursday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For April 12, 2012

LONDON, ENGLAND - APRIL 09: Manager Harry Redknapp of Spurs looks on during the Barclays Premier League match between Tottenham Hotspur and Norwich City at White Hart Lane on April 9, 2012 in London, England. (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)

Happy Thursday, Spursland! Yesterday, the site was awash, AWASH I tell you, with speculation and analysis of what our team needs this to add this summer, and I felt very left out. So excuse me while I give it a go without naming names in a feeble attempt to conceal my very Harry Redknappish knowledge of players in the lower leagues/continental leagues.

Assuming a goal of a decent cup run and that we are not in the Champions League, but our goal for the season is 4th place, I believe the team needs:

  • One established goal scorer with the ability to play alone up front
  • One young up-and-comer of similar like as cover
  • Steven Caulker to stay at Spurs and an additional CB (perhaps a certain Belgian)
  • A winger who is either young or an established talent to cover Lennon, or someone to compete with him outright

You will notice I don't think we need any cover in the center midfield.

This concludes my most Puritan of rosterbation.

And now the "news"

Spurs Reject QPR Bid For Teen Alex Pritchard- Sky Sports

It is possible that I could have worded that better. Without context it looks like a pimp and a john haggling over price, which it isn't. I mean, nobody could veer make a underground sex industry metaphor about the world of professional football.

Ledley King's Speech Crucial for Tottenham- Express

Exactly how long do you think this guy had been waiting for an excuse to make this bad pun? I bet he thought of it one night while making a depressingly bland dinner or before plopping down on the couch for a night of TV, cheap wine and depression over having nobody to love him. And how could he with such bad skills at word play?

In other news, pertaining less to unprovoked meanness, Ledley King is doing exactly what we need him to do. Rally the troops be the leader the team desperately needs. He should be done playing at the end of this season, but he should be retained by the club for his leadership abilities and his knowledge of how to play top level defense.

VIDEO: Ronaldo Scores A "Wet Dream of orgasmic Proportions"- Deadspin

By all accounts only Madrid left "satisfied." Also in the link the video of his second goal which is just as good, but from open play.

What's happening around SB Nation after the jump

UEFA Fine City For Lateness To The Pitch, Confirm Their Heads Are Up Their Own Asses At FA Levels- SB Nation Soccer

Yes, you read that correctly. UEFA fined City 50% more for being one minute late out of the tunnel for the second half than they fined Sporting for two full games of racist abuse from their fans. UEFA's most recent photo.

VIDEO: Scissor Kicks Are So "In" Right Now You Guys- SB Nation Soccer

So "in" that I saw an ironically mustached Brooklyn resident practicing them right next to his barrel of tilapia. No word yet on if this will be incorporated into hipster traps.

Aston VIlla Survivor Round 2- 7500 To Hotle

How I missed round one of this being posted is a mystery (hard drugs), but this may be the most awesomest thing ever. More awesome than scissor kicks even.

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