I've been saving this FanPost for a rainy day and, well, our forecast is looking more and more like something out of Punxsutawney: "It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life."
So I've set my sights on a certain London team that has had bragging rights over us - hell, over the LEAGUE - for over a year now. All the result of a foreign owner making a bold addition to the club that has since brought a historic run of form and European glory. Though the move wasn't without controversy. Fans and media alike derided the decision as a waste of money, a bad fit for the club, some even laughed it off as a joke. But you can't argue results.
Which is why, with the NDP, Spurs have a chance at a fresh start. We can make a statement to match our London rivals' ambition. And it all starts with a statue.
That's right, Fulham. I'm looking at you.
On April 3, 2011, Fulham owner Al Fayed unveiled a nearly 14 foot statue of Michael Jackson outside the grounds of Craven Cottage and with it, a silver-sequenced dance gauntlet was thrown in our face.
Displaying grotesque personages in public as a means of sewing fear in the masses has a long history in England. As early as the reign of King Henry III (1216-1272 AD), men convicted of treason in England were hanged, drawn and quartered, their body parts chopped into pieces and placed in well-traveled areas as a show of regal power and a warning to those that might challenge it. Oftentimes, visitors to London would first witness the severed heads of criminals set on spikes before crossing under the gatehouse of London Bridge. And today, that savage tradition is continued outside the gates of Craven Cottage, where patrons are greeted with the seemingly half-melted face of a once-beloved pop icon.
The focus now shifts to Daniel Levy's response to this blatant call to arms. We have a chance to construct our own statue of equal horror and bad taste, to show our London neighbors that we will not be intimidated by their provocations. And if we're looking for an example on how we might respond, I turn your attention to a statue I know all too well:
For those unfamiliar, that's a statue of Harry Caray outside Wrigley Field being ripped down to hell by the souls of children. Notice the flames at his knees, the tortured faces of the damned, the desperation in his eyes as he reaches out to pull you down with him. It is truly a thing of nightmares. And it is exactly the sort of statue we should be aiming for.
But surely there are others. Which is why I turn to you, fellow commentariat, to help with suggestions and examples of how we might close the statue-gap that currently exists in London.