Gut The Entire Team

YOU DON'T EVEN GO TO THIS SCHOOL JOEY BARTON! (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)

Gomes is a subpar Premier League keeper. Bale is worth more to us in transfer money than he is to us while dancing through the midfield playing at being central attacker. Kaboul is French. Huddlestone is fat and injured and dead weight. Aaron Lennon is overrated is an attacking Kyle Walker. Scott Parker is old and can't play a full season of matches anymore. Adebayor is streaky and on loan. van der Vaart can only player one single role and excel at it, and is barely healthy enough to perform that role. Gallas is an old warrior whose time has passed. Modric is worth more to us on another team than on this team. Saha is garbage meant to warm a bench. dos Santos has wasted his time with us. Defoe is old and without speed anymore. Dawson is mediocre. Kranjcar doesn't see the field enough to justify his wage. Cudicini is just insurance. Friedel is ancient. King should hang it up already and spare us having to release him. Kyle Walker should try out for the 100m at this Summer Olympics. We're just a pit stop for Sandro on his way to Italy. Assou-Ekotto, you're cool, I like you. Ryan Nelsen is just a warm body. Bongani Khumalo was a waste of time. Why are you still on the team David Bentley? Why is Adam Smith on the first team roster? Oh, Jermaine Jenas.

Consider this your Tottenham Hotspur burn book, and you're Regina George. I feel we need a good bit of catharsis around here, and maybe this is the way to get to it. Over the next few weeks I'll be examining the roster in a more, well, critical depth to find out what value each player has to the team. For the moment though, let's vent. For this thread, I just want you all to ignore the positive, valuable things all of these players do. Just vent. Bitch about every idiosyncrasy, every little annoyance that a player does, like the way Bale continues to emulate CR7 by the day. This is your forum to get everything out so that, maybe, going forward we can be level headed for these last 4 games. So go ahead commentariat, let rip about which players on Tottenham piss you off and how they've been pissing you off.

(Disclaimer: Only snipe about on field play. I don't want to see anything person about a player, none of that garbage. Just how they're letting you down in the games).

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