Sunderland Vs. Tottenham Hotspur: That Was Not Even Football

This picture is old because our photo tool is utterly effed.

Holy hell was that abysmal. Tottenham Hotspur and Sunderland played one of the worst Premier League matches of the season at the Stadium of Light in Saturday's early match. It's not even worthy of a match report, really. It was just about the worst thing. Tottenham central defenders Younes Kaboul and William Gallas had pretty good matches. Kyle Walker and Benoit Assou-Ekotto were pretty solid. That's really it for the good things I have to say about the starting XI.

Aaron Lennon came off the bench and he was fun! I look forward to his start against Norwich on Monday. Compared to Rafael Van der Vaart, he was Maradona. Seriously, Rafa was so bad. So, so bad. Ugh. I love him, but good god.

Oh, Chris Foy! Yeah, that guy. The Stoke guy. He was the referee. He had a really bad game. Not a "biased" game or the kind of game where calls seriously favor one side or the other, just a generally awful game. He got absolutely everything wrong. This was one of the nastiest, dirtiest football games I've seen this year, and its 24 fouls and four yellow cards were absolutely not representative of how dirty it was.

Sandro, who I want to play more, was bad. He gave the ball away a lot. When he finally was shown a yellow on his fourth yellow card offense of the match, he got yanked for Lennon. Scott Parker was not any better than Sandro, just a bit less dirty. I want me some Jake Livermore. Better the devil you don't know than the devil you do.

Spurs managed one shot on target while having 71 percent possession. Seriously. It was an Arsene Wenger special. Walk the ball around the box while doing f-all with it for 90 minutes. Absolutely craptastic.

As you can probably tell, I'm pretty frustrated. Mostly because I woke up after sleeping for less than five hours so that I could watch that absolute nonsense. The good news is, we just drew our hardest remaining game. Chelsea and Arsenal have much tougher run-ins. If Arsenal fail to defeat Manchester City on Sunday, we're favorites for third place. It's all good bros and broettes.

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