FanPost

CFC Poetry Slam 9: An Ode to 'Arry

(With apologies to Brent Spiner)

Harry Redknapp, does your opprobrium and permanent vacation
Imply impending renaissance for our footballing nation?
We watched our season go tits up, saw Chelsea pip us, too,
Levy needs a cutthroat gaffer and decided it's not you.

Your contract, England, "mind-the-gap," and lack of squad rotation
Were the defining catalysts of your expatriation.
The googly-eyes at Engerland, they didn't help your causes
When you upped the contract ante with proprietary clauses.

Your transfer market deals and wheeler-dealer predilection
Have kept the club afloat but didn't win you much affection.
We question, too, your transfer efficacy on display;
Khumalo may be "t'riffic" but he sure as hell can't play.

O Harry, the lack of tactical acumen you display
Is such that after Villa we just hoped you'd go away
Supporters were presenting, soon, if I may take a stab,
A bent towards trepanation when we watched dear Gareth FRAAB.

So now you're home in Dorset and you're feeling kinda blue.
Have Sandra make a cup of tea, a bacon sandwich, too.
Scritch your dog Rosie on her ears, she made you tons of dough;
You have time for relaxation while you ponder where to go.

And don't despair, your savvy with the press will take you far
Just think of the endorsements you can hustle from your car.
There are other top positions now where you can ply your trade -
You could manage Gary Rootbeer, Stevenage can use the aid.

The future of your Tottenham is past where I can see;
It depends if we sign Moyes, Deschamps, Blanc, or AVB.
I find myself intrigued with the Martinez possibilities
And what the Spaniard could achieve with new training facilities

Harry Redknapp, you were good for us - you kept us from the drop,
We regret your obviation, we don't think you were a flop.
And although you cannot read or write and thus can't comprehend,
Most supporters are relieved your time at Spurs is at an end.

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