2012-13 Premier League Round 1 Power Rankings

Everyone loves power rankings. We've seen basic power rankings, Archer power rankings, Breaking Bad power rankings, Mad Men power rankings, and power rankings based on which version of the mascot would best represent the team at this stage of the season.

These may evolve into something like that, but the point of this week's power rankings is just a baseline "would team A beat team B" power rankings after seeing the games over the weekend. I tried not to be too reactionary based on some surprising results, but wanted to focus on the squad as it is currently constructed. Onto the Week 1 rankings.

20: Queens Park Rangers - Just a whole lot of awful with a side of awful. Hilaribad, even.

19: Norwich City - Paul Lambert will be SORELY missed at Carrow Road.

18: Wigan Athletic - In my opinion, the least talented team in the Premiership, and they might even be losing their most creative player. Roberto Martinez will need to sacrifice a few goats to stay up this season.

17: Aston Villa - Once again, they'll stay in the Premiership for another season. Once again, nobody will want to watch them.

16: Southampton - Frisky start for Saints in their return to the Premiership, but still lack the talent to compete on a regular basis.

15: Octodecapool - If you lose 3-0 in the first week of the season to a lower mid table team that replaced a manager who went on to lead his country and you look punchless in doing it, you will end up down here.

14: Reading - A largely forgettable season opener in jerseys that looked like they were bought at a QPR surplus knockoff sale, but rescued a point in the Stokiest way possible. Speaking of...

13: Stoke City - The Stokiest start to the season possible was Stoked away in Stoking fashion.

12: Sunderland - Held down a decently talented Arsenal squad at the library to start the season. A point on the road is never anything to sneeze at.

11: Tottenham Hotspur - Seems about right. Winning away at the Toon is hard, but we STILL need a striker and a distributor.

10: Arsenal - A largely punchless and uninspired start to the post-RvP era

9: West Ham United - Sam Allardyce is back in the Premiership and back on good terms with a scrappy East London side. This team will be a pain in the ass to play and watch.

8: West Brom - The right side of the ledger to start the season. The Baggies played a near flawless game to open with a win.

7: Fulham - 5-0 is a great way to start the season, but losing their best player may crash them hard back to earth.

6: Manchester United - The second most talented team in the league will win plenty of games away from home, but it will take some time to put all of the new pieces together.

5: Swansea City - Game one without Rodgers could not have gone any better. The Welsh side has some fantastic talent that meshes well together.

4: Newcastle United - The Demba Duo and Tim Krul got some help from the woodwork, but played a slick, strong, winning way to escape week one with 3 points.

3: Everton - Marouane Fellaini played the game of his life to defeat the 19-time champions, but this was not a fluke. This team is flat out good and will be a contender for a spot in Europe.

2: CSKA London - Edin Hazard had a phenomenal Premier League debut, and the Blues simply held the Latics at bay after taking a 2-0 lead inside 10 minutes.

1: Etihad City - If you win the Premier League, then win your first game at home, and you're the most talented team the league has ever seen, you're #1 in the power rankings.

Questions? Comments? I'm an open book, please let me know what you think!

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