Friday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hostpur News And Links For August 24, 2012

Caption Contest...GO!

Happy Friday, Supursland! Oh West Brom, I feel so sorry for you. You don't even know what's coming. I mean, they may know that It's on (NSFW audio), but i doubt they really get how on it is. Like, it is #wehazstriker on. I mean are they even aware of this? I bet they don't know how awesome BAE is at kicking balls at suitcases. I mean, come on, West Brom, do your homework!

And now the "news"

AVB Rules Out Another Striker- Sky Sports

This was mentioned in a post yesterday, but I just wanted to make sure that everyone was aware that everyone can stop googling "ITK Leandro" now.

Be The First To Play FIFA 13 This Weekend Outside White Hart Lane- Tottenhamhotspur.com

I wish I was in England.

Chill- Dear Mr Levy

Yeah bro, chill.

Watch me explain why Jon Jones is a world-class asshole and girlie man after the jump

Raven's Fans May Be Diseased After Run In With A Bat- SB Nation

This is exactly what I don't want to hear because 1) I am a Ravens fan and 2) I just moved into a new house and I have bats in my basement. Fear not, though, if I start foaming at the mouth I will live tweet it. (Editor's note: This is code for "follow me!", which you can do right here and should do because he said something nice about me today)

Dear Alex McLeish: Shut Up- 7500 To Hotle

Or he could have just posted this.

UFC Light-Heavyweight Champion Jon Jones Pulls Out Of Title Fight (Forces Cancellation Of UFC 151)- Bloody Elbow

So here is what happened children: Dan Henderson was set to challenge for the title until he injured himself, which sometimes happens when you are both training for a high level MMA fight and are as old as the god damn hills. He was forced to pull out of the fight this morning, nine days before fight night., but this is the fight game and replacement fighters can be found to salvage the card. In fact, several fighters volunteered to take the fight. The leading candidate was Henderson's Team Quest teammate and the greatest creator of fight drama (read: sells PPV's, increasing everyone including the headline fighters payday) in the world, Chael Sonnen.

Sonnen, it should be pointed out, has not been training. He is out of shape as he recovers from getting his ass stomped not so long ago by 185 pound kingpin Anderson Silva. For those of you at home doing the math, yes this is a full 20 pound jump for Sonnen in weight class to fight Jones, and it is on short notice. Sonnen, please keep in mind, is much like Henderson. HE IS OLD AS THE GOD DAMN HILLS. Seems like an easy win to me.

Compare this to Jon Jones, who walks around at around 30 pounds heavier than Sonnen and is pioneering the use of his condor like reach in MMA. He is just 25 and entering the very beigning of his prime. This is the same Jon Jones whose only loss is for kicking his opponent's ass too much. Yes, the very same Jon Jones whose style is so unique that the best strikers in MMA can't figure him out and yet he refused this gimme fight against Sonnen, who is the greatest living example of someone folding like a towel on the big stage. Seriously seems like an easy win to me.

Because of this an entire card gets scrapped. Or in short, it gets scrapped because Jones is afraid. He hasn't prepared for Sonnen, or some such excuse. The only thing is that he kind of has prepared since like everyone else who fights out of Team Quest, Sonnen fights like a wrestler with rudimentary striking skills who grinds out wins rather than outclassing opponents. Jone's ever-so-valued game plan would be essentially THE EXACT SAME.

How selfish is this act of refusing to do what literally every other fighter has ever done in this situation since the beginning of the sport? I am glad you asked.

1. The fighters on the card: While according to Nevada law, UFC must pay them their "show purse", they will not have to opportunity to earn their "win bonus" so that is half their fight money gone. Also, take into account that the money from the promoter represents only about one-third of what fighters make from the fight with the rest coming from sponsorships. And if you aren't a headline fighter like the other 20 fighters on the card, you probably take home about $20,000 from this fight. That is just the average, while the low end of the totem pole guys are looking at $7,000.

Have I mentioned that these guys have already spent this money paying to train for this fight? Most mid-level fighters will spend $20,000 prepping for a fight. That represents paying managers, medical fees, bringing in training partners to help prep for a specific opponent, food, rent, clothing their families and paying coaches. So you know we can say with some probability that someone's little girl isn't geting back to school clothes this year. It is not uncommon for guys to be so short of money that we hear stories of living on ketchup and white rice for the last month before the fight. Pat Berry, for instance, was so broke that when he won a $100,000 bonus a few years ago that his car broke down on the way to deposit the check and he had to ask for help pushing it to the bank from passers by. These guys don't make big money until they become main eventers and Jon Jones just fucked all of them.

2. The Fans: Though the UFC will issue a full refund to the fans for tickets, they can't help fans out with the non-refundable air fare that many have arranged. What about vacation days people are taking from their jobs to go to this event. What about arrangements that the family and friends of fighters have made to be in town?

The last and perhaps the most difficult thing to quantify is the fear. What is Jon Jones afraid of? He was a MASSIVE favorite against Henderson, but he would have been an even bigger one against another old man who he is so much better than that if I was a casino I wouldn't take bets on it. It violates his own interest as he has now lost out on what would have been more than likely a million dollar pay day.

More than that, though, he has lost out on the last shred of goodwill MMA fans had for him. Most have never liked him with his so obvious put-on squeaky clean image. Proof of this was given not long ago when just days after saying that companies were more likely to sponsor him because he would never get a DUI, HE GOT A DUI after wrapping a Bentley around a tree. He then got on Twitter the next day and ASKED HIS BOSS TO BUY HIM ANOTHER ONE! What an insufferable dickhead. No wonder he never wrestled division one. I don't know a single D-1 coach that would put up with this selfish little boy.

And what about that unspoken code amongst combat sport athletes, be they boxers, jodokas, or even football players with all their armor? When someone steps up and challenges you, you don't back down. This isn't a bar fight where it makes sense to walk away because you don't know if they other guy/lady has a knife. This is a state regulated sport fight. Step up, save the day. If not for yourself in this situation where it is almost impossible to lose, do it for the fans and your fellow fighters. It is disgraceful to run away from a challenge like this. As much as this idea of masculine pride seems outdated in the modern world it lives on amongst combat sports competitors of EVERY SEX. This is not a "man up" situation so much as it is an "adult up" situation.

What this has done is taken Chael Sonnen from one of the greatest "heels" or bad guys in the sport (This personality is a put on, by the way, for the MMA media. When he is in the world of amateur wrestling he has the reputation of one of the nicest and most personable people around.) and turned him "face" or good guy and taken what the UFC hoped to market as the biggest good guy in the sport and fully turned him into the most hated man in the sport. In a day.

Jon Jones is a child and adults should not have to suffer him.

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