Tottenham Hotspur vs. Norwich City Preview: Transfers? There's Also A Football Match

LONDON, ENGLAND - AUGUST 25: Jan Vertonghen of Tottenham Hotspur is challenged by Shane Long of West Bromwich Albion during the Barclays Premier League match between Tottenham Hotspur and West Bromwich Albion at White Hart Lane on August 25, 2012 in London, England. (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)

Did you know that the reason transfers exist is to better teams for actual football matches? Me either. I don't know what this "matches" thing is, nor do I know what "football" is. I prefer the sport of transferring. It features Daniel Levy, the Babe Ruth of transferring. There is partial truth to the rumor that soon Levy will have a candy bar named after him.

Apparently this transfer things ends on Friday and on Saturday they play this mystical game of football. I've been told that is a fascinated game where you kick things to buy goals then sell kicks to stop goals. Or something like that. It will be interesting to watch the Fighting Daniel Levys take on the Yellow Birds*.

* This second team hasn't bought anyone so I am not sure if they are a real team, but Kevin assures me that they are. Of note, they do not have Daniel Levy.

Heading into the match, Spurs have just one point from their first two matches. That is a bad number to have so hopefully they can buy a few goals and transfer their way to three points against Norwich. Buyout clause.

Norwich will head to White Hart Lane fresh off of a home draw versus QPR, a result that was not particularly encouraging, but was probably fair considering their underwhelming play. It was an especially good result compared to the prior week, when Fulham beat them 5-0, though. The moral of the story is that Norwich is not a good team.

The Canaries are especially poor at the back, where our old friend Sebastien Bassong now makes his home. Bassong and Leon Barnett will partner in the center of defense. Reread that last sentence again. Now consider the smile on Emmanuel Adebayor's face.

To give Norwich some credit, they do have Grant Holt, who is as good as he is annoying and ruthless. If Spurs are lackadaisical in defense, Holt will make them pay.

That is scary considering that Younes Kaboul is out for four months and will not play on Saturday. Jan Vertonghen and William Gallas are both dependable most of the time, but that 5% can completely change things and that 5% could deliver Norwich a goal or two.

In all, it's a pretty straightforward match for Tottenham. Buy some goals against a defense that is bad. Keep a bad attack from transferring goals to you. Win the match. Get three points.

Seriously, Spurs need three points. Come on you Fighting Daniel Levys!

Star-divide

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