Happy Thursday, Spursland! We often call the time that the transfer window is open "the silly season." it makes sense. The rumors you hear in the press are usually incredibly silly and now the silly season has taken a new turn --showing that it cannot be restricted entirely to the area of football transfer rumors.
What is being so silly? The US government is considering minting a trillion dollar coin as a way around Congress raising the debt ceiling. Even though anyone who has read the 14th Amendment of the Constitution knows the President doesn't need congressional approval. Like I said, silly. Is it February yet?
And now the "news"
Allow me to explain this situation through the greatest metaphor of all -- your crappy life in high school.
Now we, Spurs fans, are the nerdy awkward kid who has grown too many inches in too few months. We also have a haircut that tries to be trendy, but just ends up awkward and poorly kept.
Leandro is the girl across the room in Algebra II and also later in the day, in French 3. Unfortunately, she transferred out of our English section. She has hair like a rainbow and the smile of endless happy mysteries. She also has other nice things about her, but you get the point.
We stare at her, maybe try to get her to laugh when we get put in her group for a project or something, and she giggles at us once or twice. That does not change the fact that she will never go out with us. She is going to go to Homecoming with JT, the athletic guy who will eventually go on to be All-State in track and become something cool, like a nuclear engineer (Editor's note: You can tell roosevelts was the biggest nerd because the first cool job he comes up with is nuclar enginer. I mean, seriously.). Instead, we will go dateless to homecoming, but luckily after reassessing our capabilities, we thankfully showed up to the Spring Fling with the freckly girl with the weird eyes and braces who always was impressed with your answers in World Civ, for some reason. Hey at least we won't show up alone again.
What I am trying to say is we need to move on from Leandro. Our attempts to get him to come are just pathetic and the rest of the class is starting to laugh at us. (Editor's note: We're already laughing at you, roosevelts)
I can think of few more awesome things then spending a night hanging out with the Spurs ladies team. Because they are Spurs, and are also ladies. We could watch Love Actually and make cookie dough, and everything. (Editor's note: Love Actually is phenomenal. Related: Sup, Keira Knightley. I mean, sup Keira Knightly when you ate.)
In what seems to be a shockingly good decision from MLS, there is a rivalry week. I am just giddy thinking about it, and you should be too. Unless you aren't American, then continue living your lives ignoring our domestic embarrassment of a league. We are like Scotland, only we still receive sunlight in winter. (Editor's note: Our football is actually watchable -- usually -- , unlike Scotland, if not actually good.(
The answer is yes, they are too high.