Tottenham doomed against West Ham

You don't have to be a Newcastle fan to hit horses in the face. - Jamie McDonald

Thanks, Obama.

Another week, another escape from the death for Spurs. Somehow we remain outside of the Botswanan Second Division. However that's sure to change this week.

You see, there's certain teams that have a pedigree. There is an air of accomplishment and experience about them. This creates an atmosphere that intimidates players and cows opposing fans. On Sunday we play one of those teams.

Sure, at first glance, West Ham United is not an intimidating opponent. Once upon a time they produced three members of England's World Cup winning squad. Since then they have ridden that achievement into the ground. The odd cup aside, their most noteworthy achievement since then was to have a hooligan firm that counted a hobbit, a Jaeger pilot who saved the world from Kaiju, and the leader of an American biker gang among its members.

However, West Ham have an advantage over us: they know what its like to play in a big game. Every single year in the top flight, they have played in two cup finals. One at Upton Park and another at White Hart Lane. These cup finals have given the Hammers a big game mentality that few can match. Every year they are ready to face us on the biggest stage of all.

Some think West Ham is called the Academy of Football because they produce exciting footballers and can't keep them due to their standing in English football. No, it is because only a few players can handle the pressure of West Ham's big game atmosphere.

Tottenham cannot possibly hope to best these players on the grandest stage of all. The players with experience in England will know that they have little chance in West Ham's biggest game of the season while its new players will be awed by blood and thunder on the pitch and the fans in the stands, who will be reminding us all about things that happened during WW2.

Face it guys, this is the biggest day of West Ham's season. They'll be up for it, whereas we'll be going down to the Mongolian Second Division.

RIP THFC

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