FanPost

All Sizzle and No Substance: Where is Bacon Sandwich in our Manager Prospects?

On Monday morning, the news was in. AVB, the man, the myth, the beard, was fired. With barely a sentence's worth of ceremony from the Spurs front office, this polarizing figure was gone. Our ruminations over his peculiar life story (he was a count?), his intransigent tactical approach (seriously, Gallas on a high line?!), and his adorably stubborn media appearances ("I will not say Bale's name again for the rest of the summer, just stop guys"), all a memory to be filed away with Spurs' ever-growing tales of sporting woe.

You know what I didn't wake up to on Monday morning? A nice big steaming pile of bacon, thick cut and slathered on a roll with butter and brown sauce. And this brings me to my point folks: where is our perennial polling favourite, Bacon Sandwich, in the public debate over Spurs' next leading wo/man (not discriminating as to the bacon's gender, which is ambiguous at best)?

Here's a list of qualities Bacon Sandwich brings to the role which nobody, not Don Fabio, not that dutch guy, not not-Juergen Klopp, not even those non-candidate candidates who have adamantly expressed they will not be candidates. As follows:

It's crispy.

It pairs well with coffee OR tea

It costs less than two quid at Greggs

It is far too fattening to consider playing a high line

It is flexible in its approach, being equally suited to breakfast, lunch, or dinner

It only gets better after alcohol

I defy the commentariat to list a single reason in opposition to this, our clear choice, for the next manager of Spurs.

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