Wednesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For February 13, 2013

Richard Heathcote

Tottenham Hotspur daily links

Happy Wednesday, Spursland! Okay guys, and I do mean guys mostly, because they are generally the planners of V-Day. The day of dread and un-needed pressure is tomorrow (Editor's note: Valentine's Day is cool and I like it). It is crunch time on planning whats going down. And if you are like me, you are about to execute a plan weeks in the making, because you are a winner. But if you aren't like me and you are currently panicking about what to do I got you covered.

First things first: locate your nearest state park, or any other type of park that is more wildernessy than it is see-sawy. Next, secure two large, heavy blankets. One should be a dark color and kind of crappy to go on the ground, and one that would be described by your lady as the "kingdom of snuggltude". Next, procure two wine glasses, and make sure they are actual glasses, you trashy douche. Acquire two bottles of red wine and ask the guy at the store to make sure you don't buy something that sucks because if you don't know (and you don't) the dude at the store will. Second tell your lady or dude that your date is a surprise.

Now this is crucial: write some sort of soliloquy about how romantic the universe is, how much nature links all beings or whatever and make it Shakespearean. Now on the big night (which is tomorrow), drive to the park, find a spot you can see the stars, and it is snuggle and get bombed time. Toss in a few whispered sweet nothings and you are good.

One last note: this will only work one time per relationship so don't screw this up so bad next year. Happy hunting.

And now the "news"

There Is More To Us Than Bale, Says Holtby- Sky Sports

Yes there is more to us than Bale, for instance we have Holtby, and maybe some other players. I'm not sure. I really only pay attention to the ones who kick ass full time.

Money Donated To Gazza- BBC

The FA and the EFF have donated £40K to support his battle with addiction. This is not expected to impact their budgets, as this expenditure will be offset by anticipated fines against Luis Suarez and John Terry for the remainder of this season.

Manchester United Will Attack Madrid, But Will Focus On Ronaldo- SB Nation Soccer

Judging from social media yesterday, the European offerings were not so entertaining and this match will be anything but. The only problem will be rooting for a stampede of rabid bunnies to overtake the pitch. Talk about death by cute, right.

The Redskins Pile On The Defending Their Racist Name Bandwagon With Ignorance- SB Nation

What is more racist: the word redskin,or the assumption that one person speaks for an entire race? Maybe Dan Snyder just thought this guy was the press agent for the meeting. You know, the one that all Native Americans go to and decide what they all think, because they definitely don't have individual thoughts and feelings like real people would, right Dan?

Wrestling Removed From The Olympics, In Favor Of Made Up Sport, Maybe Wakeboarding- Bloody Elbow

According to the SB Nation King of Combat Sports Luke Thomas, the blame should be falling on FILA, the world governing body, for being lazy idiots in not defending the sport. Now, I could go on an epic thousand word rant that makes Kevin wonder why he let me write for this place in the first place (he does that at least twice a day anyway so let's not take up too much of his time). I will just say that the amount of people on this planet who grow up dreaming of being the pentathlon Olympic champion can be counted by the number of children previous Olympic pentathletes produce, while the same cannot be said of wrestling. This is a sport that LITERALLY every culture that has ever existed has some form of. Something little children do by instinct until mom inevitably ruins the fun. But lets keep pentathlon, the synthetic sport.

PS: Pope John Paul II, Sliver Slugger

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