Tuesday morning Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for May 14, 2013

Laurence Griffiths

Daily Tottenham Hotspur links, today on Scott Parker, the Wigan-Arsenal game and how bad QPR are.

Happy lose lose please lose Arsenal day Spursland! Advice on watching today's game: if you feel compelled to pick up your dog, cat, or other furry pet, please don't. You are guaranteed to be so tense that the chances that you accidentally strangle this animal to death by halftime will be close to 100%. Get yourself a body pillow or maybe a significant other you want to be rid of -- but don't have the guts to have the conversation with -- and hug them during the game. If it's the body pillow, you are all good. If it's the significant other you don't love anymore, then [redacted].

And now the "news"

AVB Says Wigan Can Beat Arsenal-Sky Sports

Maybe he isn't mister confident guy, but he is mister positive guy.

Harry Wants Scott Parker At QPR-Mirror

On some level I have to admire how predictable Harry is. His level of consistency is groundbreaking. I bet he hasn't changed up his breakfast order since 1968. Every morning same restaurant, orders the full English breakfast (no tomato because, look at his head/neck) and a glass of Tang.

QPR Names Their Fans As Player Of The Year-SB Nation Soccer

Hint Hint DC United.

Everyone Jump Aboard The Managerial Carousel-SB Nation Soccer

That's a lot of Rafa, which is also what women (or men, whatever it's cool) say when he takes off his shirt.

Mancini Gets Sacked-Bitter And Blue

No longer will we have someone besides AVB to prowl the sidelines looking like an Armani model. Say what you want about him as a manager, his abilities or inabilities to make an unlimited transfer budget work for him. But I will say this about the man, he could wear a team scarf like few others.

Gareth Bale's Infringement On Intellectual Property Gets Called Out By A Fellow Bro-The Short Fuse

This is pretty good but for having so much material to work with I have got to say, I could have done better.

Jack Wilshere To Have Minor Surgery On Ankle-SB Nation Soccer

No word yet on the rumor that he will also have minor surgery to fix that face.

Cesc To Man Utd Rumors Swirling-SB Nation Soccer

Scare #batcountry

Giro D'Italia Mountains Preview-Podium Cafe

Welcome to the first day in the mountains folks, if you want to give cycling fandom a shot a stage like today is a great place to start. It's also good to watch if you want to know what the face of ultimate human suffering and or despair looks like, it will be on the face of the guy dragging the pack up the mountain. Whoever plays Theon Greyjoy has clearly been overacting.

PS: Russian Youth Hockey Fight

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