FanPost

An Ode to "THE"

"THE" is 6'1 and 180 pounds

"THE" is a big, strong number 9 who can hold the ball up and link

"THE" is a clinical finisher, with his head and his feet

"THE" is in his early twenties, still barely scratching the surface of his potential

"THE" plays in a second-tier, but still well-regarded league

"THE" shares a fluent language with our manager

"THE" was a star in his country's youth ranks

"THE" has a fellow countrymen playing in our current midfield

"THE" doesn't have the greatest work-rate, but one would think that would improve with age

"THE" scored bags of goals last season for fun

Is "THE" Leandro Damião? Hardly.

"THE" is younger, £11million cheaper, and far less likely to be tread on.

"THE" is Jozy Altidore

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