Happy Independence Day Spursland! Oh this has got to be awkward for the English people in the crowd, watching us crow about "winning" what was really the 1700s version of the Vietnam War (Editor's note: Screw you, America rules). But let us skip past Mechanick cackling on about how the dribbling idiot who was successful in spite of his numerous screw ups
beat outlasted the dregs of a European army. In case you haven't noticed I think Washington is overrated on a massive level and if you would like more information proving my point go ahead and read literally any book about his life (Editor's note: I'm firing you for hating America).
Now on to important things. A big congratulations to Egypt who once again have shown the power of many will always overcome the oppression of a few. Now some have said that the Army's take over is a step back, some have gone on to say that "Morsi has been a poor leader but true democracy does not permit the people to use the military to oust elected presidents". The way you know that isn't true is 1. Piers Morgan tweeted it. and 2. In many cultures, particularly South American cultures the military traditional (not always but often) takes command of a country when the people feel that a leader has become oppressive or poor. They steward the nation for a bit and then give the nation back to the people. Congrats to Egypt. And happy freedom day to all of you wherever you are.
And now the "news"
This is the most Spurs thing that ever spur'd. Are we considered that awful that people are asking a guy who may have not even officially signed yet if he regrets this decision? This is like when William Henry Harrison's wife was like "its raining and your about to make an outdoor speech, are you sure you don't want your coat"? You are just asking the question so that you can say I told you so later on.
Ossie gives the OK, which coincidentally stands for Old Kinderhook. Old Kinderhook was the nick name for Martin Van Buren, who apparently gave zero fucks what congress wanted and just signed every bill without reading it.
If you were wondering how to get me to reenact David Caridine's death, sign me to be the deep lying playmaker for spurs and then sell me to Burnley.
Fun fact, the Manhattan project wasn't about finding some new weapon, or generating emissions free power. it was about building the worlds most badass, all-American, Teddy Roosevelt (who would kick Washington's ass in a war) rough riding explosion to honor the this land , which happens to be both yours and mine.
Oh by the way, me and my friends took one of your songs and made it way better.
One last thing. People tend to dump on our national anthem a lot, saying it's just OK. As someone who was born not a mile from where the song was written, and possessing functioning ears. I have to disagree. Because Jimi Hendrix.