Good morning Spursland! I've started to get a bit fidgety about how to ensure these opening blurbs stay zeitgeisty and entertaining yet also genuinely hard-hitting and if possible poignant for the whole week, but it's OK because some days the Universe just drops something right into my lap. Enjoy, everyone.
And now the "news"
Joke's on you, he had his fingers crossed! Good luck at Hull lads. Don't eat anything anyone offers you while you're there.
That's a great start. Every great adventure begins with a seedling of an idea, or whatever. Please just sign this piece of paper now.
I guarantee that by the end of next season he'll be given a contract extension. And by that I mean the club will staple an extra bit of paper to the bottom of his contract saying that he's awful.
Truly, our dream of constructing a team of Gary Rootbeers seems to be one which Paolo di Canio very much shares.
Which is perfectly understandable. I mean, it must be difficult to make your mark on a club from your office in the Ferguson Room, taking lunch in the Sir Alex Canteen and having your team managed behind the scenes by Sir Alex Ferguson.
And Arsenal will have to take a quality cut to sign him. But not a very big one.
As someone who has clocked up over six million hours of playtime on FM13 alone, let me be so bold as to suggest the following three easy steps to success- 1) Hire an Assistant Manager with good motivational stats and let him take the team talks so you don't end up pissing off your whole team and ruining your League campaign by accidentally clicking "I have nothing to say" instead of "that was a good win". 2) Always suit up for Cup finals. 3) Most importantly of all, release Zlatan on a free. Just take the leap of faith with me on this one, Laurent.
Can you tell your Ron Atkinsons from your Ian Dowies just from one quote? Why? Do you not even have like a park nearby that you can go and sit in or something? Yes I'm a little embittered over my 6/10.