FanPost

Football Puns Part 1: Tea & Busquets

BE SPUR OF THE MOMENT LIKE GARETH BALE AND TAKE THIS PUN-BASED QUIZ. GUESS THE CORRECT FOOTBALL PLAYERS FROM THE TEXT BELOW...

I need to get this off my chest about my baby. She drives a silver Rolls Royce with cruise control. It's a nice car... bullshit!

When the car doesn't work, I have to park her up for my girl. But not that it matters. I once asked her "Wouldn't you rather own a Benz Emma or a Bentley?", just to annoy her.

I'm guessing you also heard, I had to buy her the car. Although, she already has a mower. To top this off, she has to go and fry hers by hitting a lamp, hard. Cleverly, she didn't say how hard. Although she did manage to put on her hazard lights and bail out in time before things got messy.

I asked my Mother about this and she asked "Did she even shut the ruddy door son, before she bent it?" and I said "Nay, ma, but I've rose above it. Besides, the law is on her side."

What can I say, the girl has my heart and I don't want to be without company or alone, so I stay with her.

Everybody says "He's fell, ain't he? He's falling in love." To which I say. "Sure, but I'm young and she loves her man. Plus, I'm probably punching about my weight."

To impress my girl, I play in a band. Trust me, never leave your mic on when playing gigs, or your bass on. Else somebody will end up robbing it. Love's a cruel gamble, it's like a deck of cards and it might cost a few sterling if you're too keen.

Before I go, I will share one thing with you... never buy her a car son.

POST THE PUNS AND WIN A PRIZE.* (Answers revealed 21 August)

*Prize may disappoint.

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