Tottenham doomed against Arsenal

Michael Regan

Hello derby my old friend

With the first North London Derby of the season on the horizon, I find myself empathizing with the dinosaurs who looked up to see a big ball of fire in the sky approaching.

Tottenham's slow march to relegation continues this Sunday at the Emirates as we take on Arsenal in a match that we almost surely cannot win.

Do not be fooled by their activity on the transfer market. Arsenal have assembled a team that is truly terrifying and will rip us to shreds, just as they tore the Champions League from us last season.

A front line of Luis Suarez and Karim Benzema combines two of Europe's premier strikers. Their movement is smart and deadly and I shudder to think what they'll do to our back line. And if neither of them works out, they have a third elite striker on the bench ready to come on and annihilate us in Gonzalo Higuain. My heart can barely take the strain of remembering that their attack will be supported by the unstoppable pace of Angel Di Maria. All of this builds upon the foundation of Theo Walcott's crucial and timely goals. All of this will be passing through a defense that has lost a legend, and our team's brave english heart, in Steven Caulker. And let's not forget that we've forsaken our strong American keeper for a weak, overrated frenchman who doesn't know how to guard his line.

Even if we can stop them, Spurs attack will surely be blunted by their invincible midfield, which has been immeasurably improved by the strength of Yohan Cabaye, the relentless effort of Lars Bender, and the brick wall that is European Champion Luis Gustavo.

The depression deepens as you realize that should we manage to get one on one with their keeper, Arsenal have finally stopped putting clowns between the nets. World and 2 time European Champion Iker Casillas now patrols their nets, and should he somehow get injured, Brazil's number one Julio Cesar stands ready to back him up.

We may hope that Arsenal's squad will be unsettled by so many new players, but let's be real. That's too much quality to deal with. Arsene opened his pocketbook while we've been busy losing our best player. Its time to face the harsh truth: we missed our window of opportunity. This dream team that they've assembled at the Emirates will kill us and that silence will never seem so deafening.

On Monday morning, I will have fond memories of Tottenham Hotspur, but just memories, because our club will surely be gone, shattered upon the rocks of Arsenal's transfer acumen.

RIP THFC.

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