Out of nowhere, Luis Suarez to Tottenham Hotspur rumours appear

Stanley Chou

What the heck? You've gone and done it now, internet.

Dispatches from #batcountry covers ridiculous transfer rumors found on the internet and why you shouldn't believe them. Why #batcountry? Because our own author The Sleeper's Sleep wrote a brilliant article last summer comparing the Silly SeasonTM to a scene from Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. It seemed appropriate. Today, we get real silly.

I was off enjoying a vacation up in the middle of nowhere last week, so thanks to the rest of the crew here for holding down the fort. The first article I saw on the internets when I logged back onto a computer on Sunday night was this one from a site called Championsleague.ca. They say that Tottenham Hotspur are the favorites to land Liverpool striker Luis Suarez if they sell Gareth Bale.

This one ticks all of the #batcountry boxes. Random site that doesn't usually break news? Check. No quotes? Check. No sources cited? Check. Sensational rumor linking a star player to a team he hasn't been previously linked to? Check.

I certainly wouldn't be displeased to take a transfer target away from Arsene Wenger or acquire a player of Suarez's quality, but since Liverpool seem hell bent on keeping him or ripping someone off, I hope Spurs pass, even if they have £87m or more to toss around. He'll probably cost £50m, not to mention the fact that he's been suspended for saying racist things and has been caught biting people during football matches on two separate occasions.

But it's all nonsense, so don't worry about it.

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