FanPost

Entire Tottenham team requests to leave


In a dramatic turn of events, the entire Tottenham first 11 has been gazumped. In the failure to qualify for the Champions League after just 3 games, it would appear that the entire Spurs first XI is requesting a move, with the media wing of each club reportedly interested club managing to find some quotes from the players. Found below each player is their quote.

Hugo Lloris (Monaco)

"You made me a promise. You promised me if we didn't qualify for the Champions League and a good offer turned up you'd listen to it. Well that offer has arrived and I want to play for Monaco. So keep your word and negotiate".

Kyle Walker (PSG)

"You made me a promise. You promised me if we didn't qualify for the Champions League and a good offer turned up you'd listen to it. Well that offer has arrived and I want to play for PSG. So keep your word and negotiate".

Jan Vertonghen (Barcelona)

"You made me a promise. You promised me if we didn't qualify for the Champions League and a good offer turned up you'd listen to it. Well that offer has arrived and I want to play for Barcelona. So keep your word and negotiate".

Younes Kaboul (Newcastle)

"You made me a promise. You promised me if we didn't qualify for the Champions League and a good offer turned up you'd listen to it. Well that offer has arrived and I want to play for Newcastle. So keep your word and negotiate".


Danny Rose (Sunderland)

"You made me a promise. You promised me if we didn't qualify for the Champions League and a good offer turned up you'd listen to it. Well that offer has arrived and I want to play for Sunderland. So keep your word and negotiate".

Paulinho (Portsmouth)

"You made me a promise. You promised me if we didn't qualify for the Champions League and a good offer turned up you'd listen to it. Well that offer has arrived and I want to play for Portsmouth. So keep your word and negotiate".

Sandro (Wrexham)

"You made me a promise. You promised me if we didn't qualify for the Champions League and a good offer turned up you'd listen to it. Well that offer has arrived and I want to play for Wrexham. Also Gareth said Wales is nice. So keep your word and negotiate".


Christian Eriksen (Dortmund)

"You made me a promise. You promised me if we didn't qualify for the Champions League and a good offer turned up you'd listen to it. Well that offer has arrived and I want to play for Dortmund. So keep your word and negotiate".

Aaron Lennon (Barnet)

"You made me a promise. You promised me if we didn't qualify for the Champions League and a good offer turned up you'd listen to it. Well that offer has arrived and I want to play for Barnet. So keep your word and negotiate".

Erik Lamela (Local hair salon)

"You made me a promise. You promised me if we didn't qualify for the Champions League and a good offer turned up you'd listen to it. Well that offer has arrived and I want to play for Local hair salon. So keep your word and negotiate".

Roberto Soldado (Llama farm)

"You made me a promise. You promised me if we didn't qualify for the Champions League and a good offer turned up you'd listen to it. Well that offer has arrived and I want to play for Llama farm. So keep your word and negotiate".



Sorry for the totally stupid and tedious article, I just still find it funny Marca made up their own quote and then reused it. I'm also totally bored and it's 1:30 in the morning.

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