Dispatches from #batcountry is a series at Cartilage Free Captain where we take a look at football transfer rumors found on the vast plains of the internet, and then tell you why you shouldn't believe them. Some consider it picking low-hanging fruit. We consider it a public service, and an education in why you should not believe anything you read. Today, we discuss a Kyle Walker to Manchester United link.
Kyle Walker's career has been weird thus far. He was the 'other Kyle' in the Kyle Naughton deal, the great hope for Tottenham's future after his Aston Villa loan spell, a constant scapegoat for Spurs' woes once he started, then a pretty decent player, and now an above-average Premier League right back who is a fixture in the starting XI. There are some really weird Spurs fans who have never forgotten his early starts and will never rate him because of it, but most of us seem to think he's pretty neat. Andre Villas-Boas did too, and Tim Sherwood probably does.
Apparently, David Moyes is also an admirer. It turns out that Spurs want to sign Nani on loan or something, so Moyes -- cunning little devil that he is -- thought 'I CAN TURN THIS INTO A WAY TO STEAL KYLE WALKER FROM SPURS!' Or, at least, that's what SportsDirect News would like you to believe.
Remember all the trash people talked about Goal.com a few years ago when they were by far the worst purveyor of unsourced transfer nonsense? SportsDirect News is way worse than Goal has ever been. We've written other posts about how much they suck.
I just can't get over this absolutely insane line about Tottenham's inquiry about Nani's availability.
The champions are treating the move - which comes just a day before the transfer window slams shut - as an opportunity to strengthen their side with the acquisition of England right-back Walker.
Right, so just swap Nani for Walker and call it a day, right? Because Kyle Walker is super expendable and Spurs are really short on wingers.
I can't decide what someone would have to pay to get Spurs to sell Kyle Walker over the next two days, even if we did have a respectable replacement lined up. £20m? £25m? Heck, is £30m even going to do it right now? Not that I think Kyle Walker is genuinely worth £30m on the open market -- at least in the summer -- but what incentive to Spurs have to sell him right now, at all?
Before you get to wondering about any transfer, always remember to ask yourself that -- what incentive does the selling club have to sell? If you have to think about this for more than two seconds, it's a horrible rumor.