Monday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For March 31, 2014

Alex Livesey

Tottenham Hotspur news and notes, with shame.

Happy shame day, Spursland! I think it is important to be self aware. For example, I am aware that I am a self-important know-it-all that doesn't actually know very much about anything. This knowledge of myself allows me to -- at least to some small extent -- keep myself in check and to know my limitations.

Now think about how weird this season is that after the game yesterday a twitter rumor started that Tim Sherwood had stormed into the locker room, punched a player, and everyone thought to themselves, "you know what, that might have happened."

I think this might be why I like Spurs so much. They remind me of my family. Talented, sort of, and completely bat shit crazy. Fun fact: I have a female family member that once kicked out a windshield to win an argument. She was in bare feet. Crazy makes us cool, interesting and a sort of fun that Real Madrid and Bayern Munich will never be. And I like that.

Liverpool Run Through The Repertoire Against Shambolic Tottenham- Guardian

That is an accurate headline. Stunningly accurate.

Sherwood Defends Sitting In The Director's Box- Telegraph

Dude, how bad are your eyes? Presumably you've been watching games from sideline level since, I don't know, you could walk. You should be used to seeing it and being able to judge what is going on from that angel by the age of like 17. You are 45. Just get Lasik. It's an out patient procedure.

Oleh Husev Saves Life (Probably) Of Opposing Player- SB Nation Soccer

His own teammates just stood around looking at each other awkwardly not wanting to do it unless they really had to. I guess because it's icky.

Jose Is About To Crack Open Daddy's Piggy Bank- We Ain't Got No History

I've heard this rumor on like the internet's most super secret website (xvideos) that spending lots of money doesn't guarantee the players you bring in working.

Sunderland Bans The Sun After They Tweet Manager's Gameplan- Roker Report

Now one of the finer presidents in my own nation's history, FDR was known for being tight with the press. And since he had to hide the fact that he couldn't walk in public, he needed to be very careful. When he spoke publicly, he always stood behind the podium so that nobody could see the braces that held him up. One day during the World War II he was speaking and that day, for whatever reason, the podium was a flimsy thing and a great gust of wind blew it over. As he stood there, exposed to dozens of reporters and cameramen, nobody leaked the secret. Nobody. Because FDR explained that the shock would be too much for a nation at war to handle and those reporters, unlike the guys at the Sun, were mad cool and shit.

MLB.Com Wants To Help You Bone Other Baseball Fans- SB Nation

I think it would be really cool if the documentaries tab on Netflix would do this. I think that would be a great idea. Or like Facebook could do it?

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