Managers we don't want to see at Tottenham Hotspur

Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

Someone made a list of managers that Spurs should look at that aren't named Louis van Gaal. I think that list is pretty bad.

Tottenham Hotspur have been heavily linked with current Netherlands manager Louis van Gaal in the event that Tim Sherwood is not retained following this season. FourFourTwo, however, thinks that Spurs should be looking elsewhere for a manager and goes so far as to suggest five other names that Tottenham should look at. While I'm lukewarm on the idea of van Gaal being Spurs' next manager, I'm even cooler on most of the candidates put forth by FourFourTwo.

Mauricio Pochettino is first on the list and while the Argentine manager plays an attractive style of football that would be welcomed by many of the Tottenham faithful, he suffers from one major deficiency. Namely that he's never done anything. In nearly four years in charge of Espanyol, Barcelona's other club, Pochettino managed to lose nearly half of his 160 matches in charge. That, somehow, got him the Southampton job and, while he's done well, his side are still 8th, 11 points behind a Tottenham team that, as we all know, has been an unmitigated disaster. If I'm being really honest, Pochettino probably isn't a bad choice. He's probably the cheapest option available and he'd probably do well at Spurs merely by virtue of being marginally competent. I think, however, we should aim a little higher.

Frank de Boer has much more managerial success than Pochettino, but it has come at the helm of the biggest club in the Eredivisie. That makes him, in my eyes at least, a Dutch version of Andre Villas-Boas, but without the UEFA competition success. FDB plays some pretty football and Spurs seem to have a good relationship with Ajax. Like Pochettino, I'm sure he'd be fine at Spurs, even if he's not used to managing in England. He's young and could be the kind of guy that could lead Spurs for a good long while, but I don't know if he's the kind of manager who will a) attract the caliber of players Spurs want, and b) make a quick turnaround and get this club back into the top four.

Now, we come to the truly awful portion of FourFourTwo's list. Jurgen Klinsmann and Michael Laudrup. Ew. Michael Laudrup took a promising Swansea team to a League Cup victory in 2013 and proceeded to basically never win again. Sure, he's handsome and dresses well, but that doesn't make him a good manager. His average winning percentage from his last three jobs is 31%. It's much better for his career, but that's skewed by a pretty good run at Brondby back in the early 2000's. Klinsmann, as most American soccer fans know, is no great shakes either. His lineups and tactics are often confusing, if not downright stupid (though perhaps not on the level of Tim Sherwood). And what has Klinsmann won? Nothing at the club level, despite managing Bayern Munich. He won nothing with a good young German team. As USMNT he's won one Gold Cup. Not exactly a pedigree of success.

The final name on the list is actually a very interesting one. Carlo Ancelotti may find himself on the way out of Real Madrid and that would mean he'd be on his way in to White Hart Lane. Putting aside the number of national teams and other big clubs (Manchester United) that might want Ancelotti, he's pretty much the best manager available. He knows the English game and he has a history of success here. He's won everywhere he's ever been. The problem with Ancelotti is, much like AVB, he tends to play ugly football. Even when he was at PSG and had easily the best team in Ligue 1, his tactics were often negative and derided by PSG fans as not being good enough. Certainly he's played a more open style at Real Madrid, but it always helps when you have some of the best attackers and creators in the world at your disposal.

In short, this list sucks. I definitely don't want two of the people on the list and I'm just indifferent towards two others. I think Ancelotti would be an amazing hire, but I really doubt that Real Madrid will part ways with him (especially if he manages to win the Champions League). For now, Louis van Gaal is a great option. I don't know if he's my preferred option, but I'm certainly willing to go with it if he comes.

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