Tony Pulis is here to save Tottenham Hotspur

Clive Brunskill

I'm so sorry that someone's job is to write things like this.

When sports blogs first started popping up, established media tried to tell us about the dangers of a medium in which anyone with an opinion and a computer could have a platform to express themselves on. As a teenager, I thought this was a pretty ridiculous assertion and pretty obviously a case of sour grapes from a threatened establishment. A decade later, as an employee of a new media company, I've obviously benefitted from believing that those people were insane.

I've always thought that it was great that anyone could start a blog and build an audience if they were good enough and dedicated enough, and that everyone should have a voice ... until today. Because today, I read 'Five reasons why Tony Pulis must be Tottenham's next manager', a column in Metro by Jamie Sanderson.

These were his actual reasons.

He'll bring some class to the touchlines.

OK, he needs some work with that baseball cap and tracksuit, but it's better than Tim Sherwood and his gilet, right?

And he didn't elaborate beyond that. He just assumed we knew what he meant by 'class'.

He'll stop buying rubbish players...

No more flops like Erik Lamela. Pulis has built sides on a budget - expect more like Asmir Begovic and Ryan Shawcross.

No more flops like Erik Lamela. Just flops like Charlie Adam, Maurice Edu, Wilson Palacios and Kenwyne Jones.

He'll get everybody playing their best....

No more mis-firing Roberto Soldado or struggling Nacer Chadli. Pulis gets all players to play their best.

See above.

He'll overhaul Arsenal...

Arsenal fans hate Pulis because he knows how to expose their tiki-taka football. He's the man to give Spurs the north London edge.

Tony Pulis has lost his last two matches against Arsenal in the Premier League.

And, crucially, he'll stop big names for [sic] leaving...

If you're Luka Modric or Gareth Bale, would you tell this bloke you want to leave?

I know that you're trolling and that I've been successfully trolled, but you're still the worst person on the internet. And learn how to spell 'from'.

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