Happy Hump Day, Spursland! The Tottenham web's favourite link merchant theroosevelts flirted with professionalism last night and took the evening off to do some grading, so I'm filling in once again. Your theme for the day is below.
And now the "news"
Included, of course, so a cheap FM joke can shoehorned into this Hoddle. I HOPE IT'S GUNNA BE CALLED PERRYMAN PARK AMIRITE
I wanted to tack a few of my own thoughts on to this story, but unfortunately just attempting to contemplate this possibility prompted my brain into resorting to it's failsafe maneuver of liquidating itself. Seriously though, 'sloppy seconds' and 'moving to an area where everyone wants to cause you grievous bodily harm' aspects aside, have you ever BEEN to the Boleyn Ground? The stands look like they're held up with a mixture of a few scraps of what your dad would call 'good wood' and hope.
We won't give up on you either Erik. We love to see you run down the left win-... erm, spread the ball from deep... come off your line to claim the ball? Whatever it is we bought you to do.
Just £5 per month could help a poor, disadvantaged side like Chelsea buy enough £8m Belgian 14 year-olds to one day, one day compete with the big teams.
That's just £5 per month. For the love of Christ have a heart, people.
Press your laptop screen to your eyes until the words contained in this article have suffused into your brain and remain there.