Happy Wednesday, Spursland! Did you like yesterday? I bet you did. How much coverage can you handle? What's that, you are still catching up from yesterday's salvo of awesome? Who could blame you. And if you liked that, strap in folks, summers round these parts get crazy.
Seriously, they get really crazy. Kevin doing the helicopter dick on a table in the newsroom crazy. He took Modric leaving hard, don't judge him.
And now the "news"
PIMP JUICE! Am I right, gang? Use 'em and loose 'em, that's how we do. We'll settle down when our fun is done and we find the bad one, the ride or die one. I am painfully white and I apologize.
Expect more from our crack breaking news team on this subject soon. And expect me referring to him as Poch to continue, I don't care if it's what my old roommate called her vagina.
Oh yeah, we be coming. We are a hard people, a rough and tumble people from a land that produces things that even the Australian world order would run from. For example this, which can be found in just about any river or creek. And lets not forget the things that eat them. My point is that hard places breed hard people and we are coming for all of you, but lets still be friends, okay?
Paging Daniel Levy.
I mean we don't want that piece of drunken garbage anyway.
Ideally, this is the way would would handle all situations like this, but no, we have to have "laws" and "order". What a bunch of bullshit, lets punch the dickheads. I think I'll put that on my family crest.
So this isn't just a leaked script from Inside Amy Schumer? It should be because this is hilarious. Who talks like this? Oh, I can answer that, guy who have to pay for it.
That's not hard to do, if you have a well stocked spice rack! I am so sorry. I'll be funny tomorrow, I promise.
It isn't that no one can hear you scream, it's that it makes them turn into mildly annoyed murder crazy monsters.