Tottenham can now talk to Frank de Boer

Dean Mouhtaropoulos

Awww yeah.

Sup boo.

I heard you just finished your year with a 2-2 draw to NEC Nijmegen, ending your 4th season with Ajax with a 4th consecutive championship. Awwww yeah. You know that's something that no other Ajax coach has done before, right? I know you do.

Now that your season's over, you know that thing we were talking about? Well now we can actually talk about it. Hold up, let me turn play some music to help this conversation along.

Awwwww yeah. Isn't that better? I knew you'd like that. Can I pour you some more champagne? Get you any chocolate covered strawberries? I laid them out in a 4-3-3 set up. I know that's your favorite formation, being an Ajax legend and all.

So yeah, baby. You said you'd talk to us once the season was over. And now it is.

Do you want to coach Tottenham Hotspur and bring your silky smooth style to White Hart Lane? Do you want us to buy Toby Alderweireld from Atlético Madrid and get your favorite Belgian waffle back in our center defense? Maybe set up our Erik Lamela, Christian Eriksen, and Nacer Chadli in 4-3-3 that is as flexible and sensual as their hair styles? I know you do baby. All you have to do is say the word.

What's that? Tim? Oh don't you worry about Tim, baby. He'll be gone before you know it.  He was just our rebound squeeze. You're all that matters. How could I ever go back to Tim after seeing your victories in the Champions League, your pedigree as a player, and those mismatched eyes?

Now why don't we get Daniel Levy in here so we can get down to business and make some magic happen, baby?

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