Dispatches from #batcountry

We're not getting Draxler


LOL guys, come on

Tuesday Hoddle of Coffee

Come Hoddle with us!

#batcountry: Siggy for Davies AND Vorm?


The Telegraph seems to think that one Icelandic midfielder is worth two Swansea players. Yeah, no.

Spurs linked with damn near everybody


It's the World Cup and to the media that clearly means Tottenham is going to sign the entire World Cup.

#batcountry: Spurs still linked to Konoplyanka


The speedy Ukrainian winger wants out of Dnipro, apparently, and we were linked to him before, so what the heck.

Spurs linked to Behrami


Is 29-year-old Valon Behrami a likely Tottenham Hotspur target? A few recent stories suggest he is. I offer an alternate theory.

#Batcountry: We're the new Milan


Watch your bum, Kyle Walker.

#Batcountry: AVB's poaching everyone


Andre Villas-Boas now manages Zenit St. Petersburg, who have money and may make Champions League. Let the fun begin.

#Batcountry: And now for some Chadli hilarity


Nacer Chadli is linked to Liverpool because lol transfer deadline day.

#Batcountry: Some Kyle Walker nonsense


Even for #batcountry and Mike Ashley's rumor mill, this is something.

#batcountry: Marco Reus a Spurs summer target


Marco Reus in Lilywhite! SWOOOOOOON! But it probably won't happen.

#Batcountry: Just sign all the old guys


Dear god, Tottenham Hotspur are not going to sign Wesley Sneijder or Andrea Pirlo. Stop.

#Batcountry: Sandro and the rags


How does this get printed anywhere?

Dembele isn't actually asking out


This is a story because it's international break and everyone is bored.

#Batcountry: Lavezzi is not 'out of favor'


No, Ezequiel Lavezzi is no longer a huge star at Paris Saint-Germain, but he's still a very useful player who's getting used often.

Dispatches from #batcountry: Spurs in for Mata?


Juan Mata is out of favor at Mourinho's Chelsea. Could he be in line for a move to north London?

#Batcountry: Di Marzio says everyone's in Madrid


Things have just gotten downright crazy. Where in the world is Franco Baldini?

#Batcountry: Bale will never wear the shirt again


It was already super #batcountry, but a paywall followed by stolen quotes from behind a paywall make it even better.

#batcountry: United bidding for Bale


Manchester United may have/many not have placed/are placing/will place a bid for Gareth Bale. But don't worry about it, because it's never going to happen.

#batcountry: Coentrao asks to leave Madrid


Perhaps those Fabio Coentrao rumors have legs.

#batcountry: Barcelona bidding for Jan Vertonghen


Someone says that someone else is reporting that Barcelona are TOTALLY BIDDING for Jan Vertonghen. It's TRUE! I read about it on Twitter!

#batcountry: Blanc thinks we want Cabaye


I'm not really sure how he would know that, but whatever.

#batcountry: Ceballos to ... Bulgaria?!?


Go ahead and figure this one out. If it's not nonsense, it sure is interesting.

Dispatches from #batcountry: Suarez? What?


What the heck? You've gone and done it now, internet.

Dispatches from #batcountry: Garbageman's Blues


Clint Dempsey is on a plane. That plane will presumably land somewhere. LET THE MADCAP SPECULATION BEGIN!

#BatCountry: Chelsea to bid for Walker


Chelsea are always in the business of buying players they do not need, but buying Kyle Walker from Spurs seems ludicrous.

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