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Tottenham Hotspur vs. Everton: Match Report of Bleh

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WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN
WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

Sorry folks, I was wrong.

That wasn't worth waking up early for. On a scale from one to suck, that match sucked. It looked like it was early AM in the U.K. as well. Everyone looked like they just crawled out of bed and needed a cup of coffee. It was slow, not a whole lot happened, and a draw was a fair result.

On Friday, I told everyone who reads this blog that Spurs-Everton was going to be an entertaining fixture. I thought it would feature a lot of intense end to end play. What we got was a lot of nothing. Everton's goal was pretty, but it was from a set piece. It was really boring and I kind of wish I would have slept in. Waking up at 6:30 am sucks.

Neither team created much of anything, but Everton really didn't create much of anything. Of course, as you know now, they didn't need to. Younes Kaboul did it for them. His absurdly silly foul gave Leighton Baines an great set piece opportunity from just outside the box and he buried it. Younes Kaboul is a world class athlete, but man, he sure can be a donkey.

We equalized only three minutes later when a ball bounced of Peter Crouch's stomach to Rafael van der Vaart right at the goal line for him to knock home, much to the dismay of Tim Howard, who had no idea where the f--k he was. This would be the last time in the match that Peter Crouch would attempt to jump.

At this point I passed out. Occasionally, I would wake up, see Peter Crouch fail to win the ball in the air, and go back to sleep.

As a result, Spooky has more intelligent things to say than I do and you should go read them.

Later in the week, I will attempt to find intelligent things to say. Oh, and rest Gareth Bale ffs.