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Tottenham Hotspur 2-4 Bolton Wanderers: Match Review

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I think the worst part about this match was how early I woke up for it.

It sucks for any fan to see their team lose, especially to an opponent they know that their team is superior to. Watching us commit countless mental errors against Bolton while Kevin Davies ripped us apart really sucked, but it was seriously amplified by the fact that I woke up at 7:30 in the morning to watch it. Our west coast community members had to get up at 5:30 am. I'm not sure how much American fans of American sports or European-based fans of European football can understand exactly how much this blows.

I'm actually okay at dealing with Spurs losses at 10 am. I'm a lot better at dealing with Spurs losses in the afternoon. If the first half of the away match against Young Boys or the first half of the away match against Inter Milan happened when I had just rolled my ass out of bed after about four hours of sleep, there would have been a LOT of Jameson in my coffee. The degree to which my team playing like complete and total rubbish affects me has a lot to do with whether or not they do it when I could have been sleeping instead.

So yeah, I'm pissed the f--k off.

Until Hutton's goal, that game was an incredibly epic pile of suck. We were awful, truly atrocious. I was happy to see Sandro get the start, but he was about a 2/10. It was shocking, because I never saw him play a bad game for Internacional, but it was bound to happen eventually. Every young player who comes from South America to the Premier League has to have a shocker or two. What was amazing, though, was that Harry Redknapp pulled Wilson Palacios, not Sandro, at halftime.

Sandro didn't commit any more atrocious errors like he did on the first goal, but he was still pretty poor. Tom Huddlestone entered for Sandro in the 62nd minute, a change that should have happened at halftime.

Most of us had a theory that Peter Crouch is generally useless when he isn't knocking balls down to Jermain Defoe or Rafael van der Vaart, and that was proven correct on Saturday. Because I knew that both Defoe and VDV were out, I (and everyone else who comments on this site) was advocating that Roman Pavlyuchenko gets a start up top. He can sort of disappear at times and we really need a striker that combines Crouch's effort with Pav's complete skill set, but at least he's somewhat mobile. Crouch is a complimentary player who can help guys like VDV and Defoe get the ball more often, he's not Edin f--king Dzeko. Pav came on for Palacios (lolwut) at halftime, and the Crouch-Pav partnership was ineffective yet again.

So, this loss sucked on a lot of levels. We played like crap, a couple players had shockers, and Harry's selections made no sense. Alan Hutton and Pav's goals were both pretty sweet, but it's not like they came from sick build-up play or domination of the game or anything, they kind of just happened. It was a typical letdown performance from a team coming off a big win and ravaged by injuries. We probably should have seen it coming. It still really sucks.

I will now summarize Ian Darke's commentary throughout the game.

Stuart Holden Gareth Bale Bale Bale Inter Milan Bale Holden Holden Holden's mom Houston Dynamo United States Bale Holden Holden's mom Kevin Davies Holden Clint Dempsey.

I just checked the EPL injuries and both Aaron Lennon and VDV have no return date listed. FML.

This is the most disjointed and incoherent thing I have ever written for this site. I am strangely proud of this. I hate Bolton. Sunderland preview coming tonight.