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Tottenham Hotspur Vs. Arsenal Prev...DAMN YOU CARLING CUP FINAL

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Hey guys, guess what game ISN'T happening this week? That's right, the North London Derby between Tottenham Hotspur and Arsenal isn't happening this weekend, thanks to some ridiculous bullshit called the "Carling Cup Final." What the hell is the Carling Cup? Does anyone care about it? Why do Arsenal get to play in some crap game like that against a crap team like Birmingham City instead of the great Tottenham Hotspur?

I know what you're thinking. "Isn't that the trophy we won under Juande Ramos?" To that I say, who the hell is Juande Ramos? I have no idea what you're talking about.

Thanks to some bullshit that may or may not actually exist, Tottenham Hotspur are now not playing on the weekend for the second consecutive week. IN FEBRUARY! Once again, I am being forced to pretend I have a family. I'll probably get dragged to Ikea or some shit. Screw this.