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Owen Coyle Is A Melter -or- Gary Cahill Is A Decent, Respectable Premier League Center Back

BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND - APRIL 02:  Gary Cahill of Bolton in action during the Barclays Premier League match between Birmingham City  and Bolton Wanderers on April 2, 2011 in Birmingham, England.  (Photo by Scott Heavey/Getty Images)
BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND - APRIL 02: Gary Cahill of Bolton in action during the Barclays Premier League match between Birmingham City and Bolton Wanderers on April 2, 2011 in Birmingham, England. (Photo by Scott Heavey/Getty Images)
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I think that Owen Coyle is a bit arrogant. Okay, I understand that he thinks highly of his players and that he doesn't want to sell them unless he absolutely has to, but what else do you make of this article? Arsenal, Manchester City, and Tottenham Hotspur all want Gary Cahill. They just haven't made an offer yet because IT'S A CONSPIRACY!

I know what the English media is like. It's quite possible that this FourFourTwo article either took Owen Coyle's comments way out of context or made them up altogether. But if he really said these words and he meant what they're trying to make it sound like he meant....lollerskates. You live in a fantasy world, good sir.

"There had been tentative enquiries, but there has certainly not been firm offers...I have said to Gary that as soon as there are, then he will be the first to know. But I think a lot of the speculation is certainly unfair on him at this moment. We know they have the interest, but if somebody is going to back that up, then do it - put your bid in, or if you don't, leave the kid alone and let him get on with his football."

Do you know why there have been tentative inquiries and no offers? Because they call up, you say £15 million, and they say "Hahahaha...oooooookay."

There has been literally no speculation linking Gary Cahill to Tottenham Hotspur in the last month. I would know, because I read literally every piece of complete and utter nonsense that comes up on NewsNow and my gigantic RSS reader. Even the Daily Fail and the S*n can't be assed to make up a rumor about Cahill moving to Spurs, Arsenal or City for £15 million because it's a ludicrous price for a solid but unspectacular central defender.

Just because City paid an absolutely asinine price for Joleon Lescott doesn't mean that Cahill is worth that kind of money to any club save for Bolton Wanderers. If we're paying that kind of money for a central defender, he better damn well be demonstrably as good as Michael Dawson and better than Younes Kaboul. Cahill doesn't fit the criteria. 

I understand, Mr. Coyle. You think highly of your player and you don't want him to leave for anything but a King's Ransom. If Cahill leaves for less than £15 million, the move probably hurts Bolton. But if you think that teams are just sitting around, waiting in the wings to bid an absurd amount of money for Cahill at the transfer deadline, you are an absolute melter.