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My Favorite Transfer Rumor Yet: AC Milan Interested In Peter Crouch?

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I'M PETER CROUCH LOOK AT MY FACE DURRRRR
I'M PETER CROUCH LOOK AT MY FACE DURRRRR

We've heard some doozies over the summer, but I think this is my favorite so far. According to Italian football blog Forza Italian Football, citing talkSPORT, AC Milan are interested in Tottenham Hotspur's robot beanpole Peter Crouch. I tried to find the original talkSPORT report for you, but I can't. Reasons I couldn't find the report, in order of likelihood: I'm stupid, it was on the radio and not on their website, Forza Italian Football screwed up.

Let's forget for a second that AC Milan don't have that much money. And that Peter Crouch, while effective, is a fairly average player. Why the hell would AC Milan want him, and how does he fit in their roster. While all of these players fill different roles and are in different stages of their careers, I'm not sure how Crouch even cracks the 18 of a team that has Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Robinho, Pato, Filippo Inzaghi, Antonio Cassano, and king of the douches Stephan El Shaarawy*.

*I don't actually know of any douchy behavior by El Shaarawy, but just look at that guy!

But, just for funsies, let's say that AC Milan offer us £15 million. Do you sell Crouchaldinho? He is 30 years old, and we could use that money towards a striker who is a better fit for our current system. And honestly, if Crouch is going to leave the EPL, I think that Calcio might actually suit him.