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Tottenham lost to Man United because Chirpy has a stupid face

Editor's note: Apologies, but the pictures are no more :(

Pictured above is Chirpy. He's a cockerel or some such nonsense. Anyway, I think his face is really stupid and this is why Tottenham Hotspur lost to Manchester United yesterday. It is possible that I am in complete denial about us being utter crap at football. But I'm pretty sure it's Chirpy's fault. Here is an outline of my problems with Chirpy.

1. He sucks.

2. He isn't a dinosaur.

3. He has a stupid face.

4. He's wearing American football pads on his legs, which is absolute nonsense.

5. His squad number is 99, which is too cool of a number for him. Lass should demand No. 99 when he comes because Chirpy deserves a stupid number.

6. He would lose in a fight to a Railhawk, which is a fictional animal.

If you don't know what a Railhawk is, this is a Railhawk.

That is a picture of Swoops the Railhawk, the mascot for NASL (United States second division) side Carolina Railhawks. In that picture (Credit: The now old and defunct USWNT blogspot blog) he is standing next to Lori Chalupny, who is an awesome footballer. She could also kick Chirpy's ass. She is also probably better at football than Aaron Lennon.

In conclusion, Chirpy blows. Have a nice day.