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Monday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For September 19, 2011

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Happy Monday Spursland! What a weekend that was! We beat one of the big four/Sky six/whatever meaningless name the media is referring to the good teams as this week! We are sure to be back in the Champions League before you can say pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism. 

And now the "news"

"Harry Wanted Me" Says Woodgate-Sky Sports

The longer and longer that Harry and Levy stay together, the more and more it seems that they completely disagree with each other about everything. It isn't earth shattering news that Harry would have wanted to keep Woodgate, Harry's favorite thing in the world is giving English players second chances. How you doing peter Crouch, what's up Defoe. It is weird that Woodgate would basically call out Dan Levy about his move.

The Guardian Breaks Down Yesterday's Winning Tactics-The Guardian

Oh I see how it is, The Guardian thinks that they can do better chalkboard breakdowns than Brian Mechanick. Well guess what Guardian you can't, Brian is way better than you and there is nothing you can do about it. Just you wait for this week's. Hey Brian no pressure buddy ;)

CSKA Moscow Want Gomes-Inside Futbol

I hope this goes through for two reasons. First, Gomes is too good to not even be making the bench. Sure he makes an unbelievable error every now and again but he makes twice as many unsavable saves, so really the team comes out ahead. Second, despite my lack of knowledge about the Russian League, they have a reptutation for overpaying for players, CSKA being one fo the biggest clubs, Spurs shold get a pretty nice transfer fee out of this.

Wayne Rooney Sucks At Football-Deadspin

"Take that you plastic haired, devil!" that banana peel probably said.

What's happening around SB Nation after the jump: Video Edition

Fernando Torres Is Good At Soccer Again-SB Nation Soccer

148 days, thats how long it has been since Torres Scored for Chelsea. Experts are telling me that that is a long time for a player of his position. You learn something new every day.

Fernando Torres Is Bad At Soccer Again-SB Nation Soccer

One word, lolz!

Nani Make Ball Go Boom-SB Nation Soccer

When I see goals like this I sometimes wonder if it hurts their foot. Am I alone here?

David Beckham Goes Undercover, Invites Women To Smell His Leg-SB Nation Soccer

More proof to show that a-hole friend every guy has who swears up and down that women can't be funny, that he is just plain wrong, Ellen kicks ass. And if "smell my leg" isn't a new meme in the next 24 hours, I'll eat my hat.