Dear Tim,
At some point a big club somewhere will realize how fantasmical you are. After all, six-foot-two forwards who scored 19 goals two seasons ago, 22 goals last season and have 14 already this season don't come around often. Until they do, you're left to the Netherlands, where you'll continue to score goal after goal and be the apple of my eye.
You don't have doubters so much as you are an unknown. When Slovenia played the USA last year, you weren't the guy everyone was talking about going into the match because many had no idea who you were. Then you scored two goals and turned the Americans' defense time and time again and all 14 people who watched the match were talking about you. When the next 14 people watch you play, they'll love you too. You're impossible to resist, just difficult to find.
Somehow, PSV were able to snag you from Groningen for £6 million in the summer, but don't take it personally because you're worth much more than that and hopefully soon someone else will realize that. Maybe even someone close to my heart like Tottenham Hotspur. I can just imagine how terrific you would look in white and I hear they are in search of a striker to play alone up top for next season. You would be perfect for this! I really think this is all coming together now.
Below is a video that sums up your most incredibleness. Let's bring this incredibleness to London and make the world a perfect place.
- Ryan