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Proof Sandro Is Still Alive

He's alive!
He's alive!

So we have this lad named Sandro on our team. I wouldn't blame you if you forgot about him considering he has been missing in action of late, but we have definitive proof that he is still alive in the form of an interview with

"I’ve been thinking about that run lately and the other wins we’ve had when I’ve come off the bench," he said. "I’m pleased with the stats and with how it’s all working out. The fans have taken to me, and that’s great because I haven’t been here that long. Things have gone well whenever I’ve played this season, and that’s why I feel we’re still in the mix for the title."

The key part there is where he talks about the fans having taken to him because that includes me and I'm very narcissistic. There are also lots of other key parts, like where he talks about us being title contenders and wanting to play in the Olympics so give the whole thing a read. Or don't. Maybe it was all made up. I wouldn't put it past FIFA. Sandro might not still be alive. CONSPIRACY THEORISTS UNITE!

This post is brought to you by the There Is Absolutely Nothing Going On This Week Foundation