Good Morning, Spursland! Apparently the mighty theroosevelts has been felled by a mere flu. So, in his stead I will be writing the Hoddle of Coffee for today, while making fun of everything he holds dear. The lesson here is, never show any weakness because your enemies (and sometimes your friends) will use that opportunity to troll the ever-loving shit out of you.
If there's one football journalist on Twitter it should be Ben Pearce. His knowledge and information on Tottenham Hotspur is generally top notch. Unlike someone who writes a certain early morning post for a certain Spurs blog. That guy has knowledge of history and professional wrestling, but not football.
It's kind of sad that the story from this game isn't how well Tottenham have played this season. Instead, it's about Brad Friedel's streak of consecutive Premier League games started has ended. The streak ended at 310 matches, which is impressive, but it had to end eventually. Unfortunately, theroosevelts's has been unable to create such a lengthy streak of Hoddle's written. Why? Because he is a weak and insignificant human being. Teddy Roosevelt got shot and still finished his speech. Meanwhile, our Roosevelt sneezes a few times and can't press a few keys on a keyboard. How embarrassing.
I've heard all the analysis of this call and I have to say, I don't care what you say about normal effort, that call was wrong. I know it doesn't change anything, but I completely and totally disagree with it. Sure, the Braves were denied a place in the next round more by their own errors than anything else, but this call didn't help. Similarly, theroosevelts is relegated to writing only the Hoddle because of his own errors. You can only use a semicolon as an apostrophe so many times and expect to get a better gig, ya know?
I still can't believe that we have a blog that covers professional wrestling. I thought pro wrestling stopped being a thing after Sting and Diamond Dallas Paige left WCW. Instead it continues to be a thing that millions of people (not just Americans) take very seriously. I think this is incredibly silly. Just like you Mr. theroosevelts. As an addendum, it is very hard to make fun of you and not refer to you by your given name.
Well, it probably doesn't get much better than two of the best players in the world of football matching each other goal for goal. It'd be like if Kevin and Graham (from WAGNH) started trying to match each other post for post. None of the rest of either staff would matter much in said battle, but theroosevelts would be the equivalent of an unused substitute.
This article serves no purpose other than to troll the various fans of Maryland sports on this site. It's mostly funny because you all thought there was a chance they were coming to College Park. I don't have a good theroosevelts joke to go here, so just pretend that I ended today's Hoddle with a really biting commentary on both theroosevelts' personal appearance and the way in which he attempts to mold children in his job as a teacher. Instead, theroosevelts, I leave you with this. (Get well soon buddy!)