Why Do You Tease Me Leandro?

Dear Mr. Damiao,

You have been the apple of my eye for quite some time now. Two summers ago myself and Spurs fans across the world were dreaming of you trading in your Red and White Internacional kit for the lillywhite of Tottenham Hotspur. That deal never came to fruition. Then, in January, after the Copa Libertadore, I felt certain that you would be leaving Porto Alegre and coming to North London, but again, nothing happened.

The summer of 2012 was one of upheaval for Tottenham Hotspur. We had a new manager and we seemed to have a new philosophy. Also, we had money to burn following the sale of Luka Modric. It seemed absolutely certain that Tottenham would be able to secure your services, but now there were other clubs in the running. Spurs were joined by the likes of Juventus and AC Milan. I can understand the allure of Italy, really I can, but I knew in my heart that you belonged at White Hart Lane.

Then came the London Olympics. You finished with six goals and won the tournament's golden boot. You had attracted so much attention to yourself with your brilliant blend of power, pace, and finishing ability. You were in the shop window for all to see. There was no doubt in my mind that your price tag had risen significantly, but you were still the only striker that I had eyes for. I had faith that Daniel Levy could still bring you to London, but again you remained in Brazil.

Now, Spurs are in desperate need of your services. The club has two first-team strikers at the moment and and while they're both certainly capable players, they are not you. That is to say, they are not THE striker that Spurs need. My faith in your eventual arrival had begun to wane in September. Three transfer windows worth of teasing will do that to a guy, but with each week that Emmanuel Adebayor was injured and each week that Jermain Defoe failed to adequately bring his teammates into the game I realized just how much Spurs needed you.

Then came last week's match against Maribor in the Europa League. Tottenham played a 4-4-2 formation and it was brilliant. However, it's a risky way to play when you consider that the club only have two strikers. We played so well that way that I was convinced that we need you join the club. A 4-4-2 with you and Adebayor or you and Defoe would make Tottenham's attack frightening to the opposition. I began to beg and plead with the big chairman in the sky for you to come to Tottenham Hotspur. I pledged to go to class, do my homework, and to not make fun of Mechanick if he would bring you, Mr. Damiao, to the Lane.

Then, I sat down at my computer and found this: LINK. Not only did you say that now is not the moment to be thinking about playing in Europe, but you also said that you dream of playing for Real Madrid. You mention that you're 23 and you have plenty of time to move to Europe, but do you really? Look at your countryman, Alexander Pato. He's been at AC Milan for a while, and he has become riddled by injuries. Do you want to risk becoming the Brazilian Michael Owen just so you can play a few more seasons in Brazil?

I get it, you're happy in Brazil. The weather is great, the women are attractive, and there's no cultural adjustments for you to make. However, Internacional aren't great anymore. Your club is not going to qualify for the Copa Libertadores. Best case scenario you finish 5th. Well, we finish 5th all the time, but with you in the squad we'd almost certainly be better than that. Think of it Leandro. You could have Champions League football. And you'd be first choice. Do you really think you could go to a club like Real Madrid and supplant their starters right away?

Look, Leandro, I have to ideas what the Brazilian FA is doing to keep you and Neymar from leaving Brazil, but you can leave. Look at your former teammate Oscar. He's playing very well in the Premier League and he still gets called into the Brazil squad. I understand that you don't want to miss out on the 2014 World Cup, but there's no way that will happen. All you have to do is agree to come to White Hart Lane.

I want you here so bad Leandro. Please don't make me beg anymore. I need you in my life.

Yours,

Bryan