Happy Monday Spursland! Surely at this point due to the lack of spelling errors, you realize that I am not TheRoosevelts. Additionally, with the lack of Dempsey bashing and communist sympathizing, I am not Ashlock. Indeed, it is I, Petrilli. TheRoosevelts asked me to fill in after realizing that letting his affair with the love of his life's mother get in between them was a terrible mistake, went to interrupt her wedding, and ran off with her to a future of happiness and wedded bliss. You can tell these two are completely in love with each other and I wish them both the best.
Don't forget, only 36 days until Christmas.
And now for your Tottenham News and Links...
Bendtner Would Consider Spurs Switch
Nicklas Bendtner has scored exactly zero goals for Juventus on loan this season, is a Gooner, isn't good, and why go for this mediocre Danish striker when we could go after Viktor Fischer?
Wilshere Says Cazorla is Arsenal's Messi
In comparisons that mean nothing and are awful, Bale is Tottenham's Ronaldo.
Levy Turned Up Heat On Villas-Boas On Eve of Derby
Make note of the fact that the actual article proper doesn't mention Levy's name once, and it's only used in the headline to get you drawn into the story. Also, lunchtime is a precise measure of time for the Telegraph.
Villas-Boas Does Not Believe Tottenham Will Crumble
We've been losing position in the table for three fixtures now and have a couple of matchsticks as our healthy midfielders. We're already crumbling Andre, get the spackle out and fix it.
From around the world of football...
James McClean Receives Death Threats
Abortions for some, tiny American flags for all...
Moussa Sissoko Unsure of Future
Who wants to go to Turin, Newcastle, or Moscow? Come to London Moussa. Don't go chasing the money like Hulk did.
Mark Hughes Future Decided This Week
Really, the only thing to decide is how much money QPR wants to dumptruck onto Redknapp's lawn.
Pep Guardiola Single Handedly Kept Barcelona Relevant and Catalonia Strong
He can turn water into wine, but he can't heal Zlatan's douchebaggery.
Once again, the MLS Playoffs are dumb and oh my god just switch to a single table round robin and get the final growing pain out of the way.
From Around SB Nation...
Into The Abyss - The CFB Top 25 Reviewed
Standing on the precipice of a BCS title shot and an undefeated season, Oregon peered over the edge, sneezed, and after slipping plummeted headlong into the abyss with a 17-14 loss to Stanford in Autzen Stadium. How did this happen? The usual Stanford victory march: marauding defensive linemen, Shayne Skov crashing plays to pieces in the backfield, and Stanford tight end Zach Ertz catching a touchdown while standing on his head.
Puddles copes just like you and I do: kummerspeck, the German word for emotional eating.
Are the Knicks, Grizzlies, and Clippers For Real?
I can't handle the idea of a team employing Rasheed Wallace as being for real. Yet, here we are.
Clearing Up the NFL Playoff Picture
Summary: God, everyone is so bad this year.
Keselowski Defeats Johnson for NASCAR Sprint Cup
Johnson's drivetrain broke. It was really boring. Thank god we're done with NASCAR dominating ESPN for three months.
The Greatest Game: Why The World Loves Soccer, and America Doesn't...
If anything, the comments on this story are numerous and just as engaging as the article. By that I mean, holy cow was this weirdly a controversial article.