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Tuesday Morning Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For December 18, 2012

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Paul Gilham

Happy Tuesday, Spursland! I love the holidays, but in the past I have maybe focused on the early ones and completely ignored, on purpose and by accident, New Year's Eve. Mostly because it sucks. It is a forced party where other people who are completely partied out from an entire season of partying get drunk on overpriced booze and tell each other lies about how they are going to better themselves in the coming year. (Hint: Anyone who talks about losing weight is both lying AND self involved.) At least that is the case for me.

If you are reading this and I have told you what my New Year's resolution is in, say, the past seven years, I was either completely lying to your face or I was just making up something on the spot that made me sound more interesting. But that is ending this year. In light of all the crazy, crazy stuff that has happened in our world in the last year I got to wondering what was wrong. It was clear to me that something, really many things, were wrong with the world I lived in, and that maybe I, a 27-year-old with extensive streaks of vacation time throughout the year where I do nothing, could contribute something.

So over the next few weeks while I have some down time I will be doing the following (which you can totally also do if you want, or not. It's still cool.): I will take a blank sheet of paper and make a list of things I see wrong with my/our world, culture, or society; I will analyze each problem and see if I can find the main, most obvious source of that problem; I will think of a pie in the mother freaking sky, out of the box way to fix it.

Once that intellectual exercise is over I am going to think what can I, a nobody without any financial backing, do to contribute towards fixing this. Then maybe, if I don't just get lazy, I am going to go out and do some of this stuff. If we all just commit just a little bit more to doing better we can take this floating orb of matter in space and make it somewhere between marginally and significantly less shitty.

And now that the preaching is over, the "news"

AVB Gives Injury Updates- Sky Sports

This just feels weird. Tottenham are not a team known for giving injury updates. Could this perhaps be the beginning of AVB attempting to woo the press with insider info? Ot really doesn't matter why, really.. It's just nice to know what we have to work with in the next game prior to the exact second of kickoff, like usual.

Sexy Jan Talks Up Eriksen- The Guardian

Hey man (or woman), this is the kind of thing we need. We don't have a ton of money to dangle at these up-and-coming guys to try and get them here. We need guys like Jan getting in their buddies' ears talking up how awesome we are trying to get them to sign on the dotted line without Dan Levy handing them a sack full of gold bars.

Johnny Vertical Says Bale Is Not Irreplaceable- The World's game

Shots fired! Shots fired!

Fellaini Handed 3 Match Ban- SB Nation Soccer

Not enough. 6 games for that at least. And an additional 2 for the hair.

Zenit Fans Say They Are Not Racist, Then Say Something Really Racist- SB Nation Soccer

But they totally have black friends.

Man City Owners Want NYC-Based MLS Team, And Want Beckham To Be A Part Of It- SB Nation Soccer

For me, as a MLS fan of a non-New York team, this is like finding a pile of shit outside my front door and then realizing that it is some way even worse. Like if you saw the shit and then noticed that anthrax was sprinkled on top. How is this going to work? New York already has one huge team with a stadium they don't come close to filling. Now imagine the monstrosity that this dude is going to build because he just lives to burn money (I don't mean that figuratively. I think he heats his home by burning 20 dollar bills in his furnace.). Home games will just have the 30 traveling fans and Sleeping Chicken in the stands.