Tuesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas, Spursland! Enjoy doing whatever it is you are doing today, be it chestnuts (said nobody), hunting, Chinese food and a movie, or just getting drunk with your family. Cherish these times, even when your Uncle John tries for the eighth time to tell you Obama's a Muslim, or when somebody's kid craps in the kitchen, because family is family, and today is about love.

And now the "news"

AVB Not Planning To Sign Anyone In January- Sky Sports

And so ended all legitimate #batcountry discussions. Not that that will, or even could stop us. MESSI FOR 25 MILLION AND MORIMOTO AS HIS PERSONAL CHEF!

Villas Boas Admits to Admiring Stoke- Telegraph

I have viewed the Telegraph as a legitimate news source for som time. However, that ends when the intro blurb thingy makes an analogy using a several years old Rob Schneider movie. Not a movie that happened to have Robbie in it, but one he stared in. This is either a demonstration of taste so poor that it could only be expected from your Aunt Margie, or of a drug habit on the levels of Keith Moon And Steve-O. Either way, it ain't good.

Spurs Planning £8 Million Bid For Crystal Palace Starlet- Caught Offsides

Please see above. Also, please see the last "starlet" we bought from Crystal Palace, John Bostock and his contribution to this squad of NOTHING in 3 years.

SB Nation Soccer's Staff: All We Want For Christmas Is- SB Nation Soccer

Just in case all those nieces and nephews your sibling suddenly spit out weren't enough to shop for now these idiots are asking for stuff, but only if you have time.

Malaga And Others Fined And Banned By UEFA For Outstanding Debts- SB Nation Soccer

Not that this is not important to stamp out, but how typical of a football governing body to actually punish bad behavior when money is involved as opposed to, I don't know, things like this.

Seattle NWSL Team Will Be Named Seattle Reign FC- SB Nation Soccer

Oh my god, you hack fucks. So clever, so, so clever. Just seeing this headline was like watching Bill Hicks for the first time. The only explanation for this has to be that some guy who made a ton of money in some other business in spite of himself thought "Well, what do they have in Seattle? Oh yeah shitloads of rain, boom Seattle Rain FC". And then somebody said "Hey, Steve*, that name sucks. You can't name your team Seattle Rain" and then Steve is all like "Watch me, bunga bunga" or whatever. Then a week later h realized that other guy was right, but was to proud too change his mind so he tried to be clever and ironic about it. Steve sucks.

* Because those guys are always named fucking Steve

The Forgotten Golden Age Of MMA Part IV: Ultimate Fighting Of The Belle Epoque- Cageside Seats

Just thought I'd toss this in because this series is amazing and maybe it would be a good read for Sir Alex so he can bone up on what can and cannot kill someone.