Monday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For December 3, 2012

Happy Monday, Spursland! So it i that time of the year. No, not the time that Spurs are finally going on all cylinders. It's the time of year where I look at the list of people I have to buy gifts for and know what I am getting nobody. Like not "I haven't bought anything". I mean I look at the names on the list and just thing "oh f$%^" over and over again. And as we are all one big happy community, I figure I cannot possibly be alone in this problem so let's crowd source this and give out some gift ideas in the comments section.

And now the "news"

Bale Out Two Weeks- BBC

No word yet as to who will be coming off the bench to pick up the slack while the EPL diving leader is out.

We Will Cope Without Bale, Says Defoe- Sky Sports

Translation: "Um, have you been noticing who is scoring all the goals 'round here"?

Bale Ready To Quit Tottenham For Spain- Telegraph

My god, did Rita Skeeter ghost write this post because that is not at all what the man said. Like not at all. The word Spain was not even mentioned by Gareth, neither was quitting in any shape or form. Telegraph, please step your game up.

Galaxy Win Second Straight MLS Crown- SB Nation Soccer

Congrats to the Galaxy on becoming the joint-winningest club in MLS history with DC United. Oh, and get the fuck out Beckham. (Editor's note: WE WONNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Cracking The Rafa Benitez Code- SB Nation Soccer

Mind blown. Did Jim Carey write this?

Andy Carroll Out 6 Weeks- SB Nation Soccer

And nobody noticed his absence.

We Needed That- Arrowhead Pride

I think you know what this is about.